Rip and Tear (Into my A**):(Doomguy X reader)

Semi-Permanent Headache (Male)

'It's what I like, I don't mind it.'

'You don't deserve it.'

'Maybe not, but qualified individuals are in short supply.'

'Just doing what you can?'

'That's what we all do, though I have to say I was glad to get off of work.'

'What are you doing now?'

'I went up to the roof, I like a good breath of fresh air every once in a while.'

'Could you use some company?'

'Only if the company brings condoms.'

There was a tap on you shoulder, and you jolted, hiding away your phone and preparing to face one of your superiors and have to explain why you were camping on the fucking roof.

But you didn't see any of your superiors, you saw a seven foot mammoth of a man in bloodied armor.

"Oh fuck!" you stumbled back a little and took a moment to take in his sudden appearance. "Shit dude, you scared the crap out of me!" You leaned against the ledge of the roof, heart beating uncontrollably.

He shrugged, taking a slow step forward.

He always did that whenever he approached, giving you plenty of time to move away.

You never wanted to move away.

"You know, you showed up suspiciously fast for a guy who wasn't planning to be here." You reached forward and took one of his hands, pulling him until his enormous body had you essentially pinned to the ledge, a short outcropping the only thing that stopped you from dropping into nothingness over fifty stories beneath.

He was covered in blood, but you didn't find that you minded it. Was he ripping apart demons moments before he got there? Was he tearing their heads off and crushing their skulls? Was he blowing them up with the super shotgun you had shot yourself?

It was kinda hot.

He just shrugged again, and one of his hands, huge and hot even through the glove, soothed over your arm and shoulder.

You grinned at him, the headache behind your eyes lessening.

"Push me down."

His hand froze, head tilting a little to the side.

"Put that hand on my shoulder, push me down, and I will suck your dick hard enough that these stars won't be the only ones you're seeing."

The hand on your shoulder clenched, and you looked up at him with narrowed eyes as he started to apply pressure, forcing you down onto your knees.

Another day, another headache, another late night.

Luckily, you were the only one left in the office, listening to the shitty elevator music playing through the room reserved for Haden's office.

Gosh his music was shit, the room was shit, and he didn't even need it anymore! Yet it still existed, on its own electrical system and grid, because he fucking wanted it.

"I'm going to fucking murder whoever put this wiring in." You growled, detangling the mess of wires in your hands and cursing that you hadn't taken more electrical courses.

"I just wanted to do hardware design, I just wanted to build big guns, I just wanted to re-work the fucking planetary defense grid-"

A sucking sound caused you to instinctively roll behind the desk, peeking over the edge of the surface as the enormous portal heralding someone's entrance spiraled into existence.