start over | dreamwastaken x reader (sequel to split)

03 | STAR GAZER

"You got me, I am from here." He lets out a slight chuckle as his body loses all tenseness I didn't realize he was holding in him. He goes lax as he stretches his legs out in front of him. He's... vulnerable.

"I'm a smart cookie." A smug expression takes over my face and he returns a head shake in my direction. "I apologize." I hold a hand up before I continue. "I shouldn't be so cocky. But I've been raised by a bunch of boys. Who have very inflated egos. It has rubbed off over the years."

"I need to come clean about something." The boy begins and my mouth instantly goes dry. I hate the sound of this. God, it is fucking miserable to hear. "I haven't been completely honest with you."

I look away from the blue eyed boy and stare off into the darkness across the street. Another person full of lies. Hidden secrets. I just seemingly attract the awful people apparently.

"Yesterday, when we first spoke, I had no idea who you were. Truly I had no idea. You looked familiar but I didn't realize why." I drop my head as the sinking feeling begins to fill me. I know what's coming and I want to stop it before it falls past his lips.

"What? You know I was fucking the biggest Minecraft YouTuber?" I blurt out before he can say it himself. I don't want to hear him admit it. I can't hear him admit it.

"Do I really look like someone who watches a block game?" He raises his eye brows at me for a quick second before narrowing his eyes. I can tell he hasn't liked my outburst but... it's happened.

"I—" I stutter and can't get the words out. Inside I fall mute and can't even look at the stranger beside me. A stranger that could have been the one to pull me from the hell Clay put me in.

"I mean shit more power to you girl. If you have like big ups to ya." He starts as he places his hand on my shoulder. "I don't think many people can say they've fucked someone who is famous for... playing a block game."

I swat at his hand as his voice holds sarcasm in it. Fucking Twat. "So funny." I roll my eyes and look at him. "Sorry it's a... rough topic and I just couldn't have you say it. It's a thing." I motion to my head before looking away.

"We all have our issues." He chuckles. "But I was going to say, you look a lot like my next girlfriend. As a joke. Because I'm just so hilarious. But uh... clearly I've accidentally hit a soft spot."

"I told you I've been raised by boys. I'm made of steel. I have no soft spots. I'm all—" I poke the flab of my stomach, "all rock solid." A laugh forcefully bursts out of me. Yeah... definitely rock solid.

We carry on a conversation deep into the night. It's not something I've done for awhile. Clay and I never used to speak for hours. We knew everything there was to know about each other. We thrived off silence together. Just being by each other was enough for the two of us. So, it was different with Lake. I mean Lake was just a friend. Then again... Clay was also just a friend.

Well really, Lake was just a stranger I was secretly dying to get to know. What can I say? Blue eyes are captivating. I can't help it. A pretty boy wants to be my friend I'm not going to hold back. I held back for years because of Clay. Because we feared what could happen to the two of us. And the fear was worth absolutely nothing because it happened anyways.

"I should get going home. I've got to be back here in the morning and it's," I tap on the screen of my phone to light it up and see its past midnight, "late." I laugh.

"I see this." Lake stands up and offers me his hand. I take it without second thought and he helps me up off the bench. "It was really nice to chat. Still on for Friday?"

"If you can put up with me, sure." I feel warmth again as I leave the conversation with Lake. This is a feeling I could get used to again. I don't think anyone would ever compete with the way Clay made me feel but they could be close. Honestly, I don't really want anyone to make me feel better than he did.

Is that selfish thinking? I guess maybe not for me, but for everyone else. I want Clay to change his mind. I want Clay back. I will always want him back. But life doesn't always give us what we want. Sometimes we just have to take it as it comes and deal with it head on.

Maybe Lake coming into my life was the world's way of saying it was time to move on. But was I really ready to move on? No. But I had to. Dr. Elmore has told me countless times that moving on is healthy. Everything happens for a reason. Whether we want to believe it or not.

***

The next month flew by. Work was going well. My budding friendship with Lake was going well. Life was just content. There was nothing wrong with being content. I didn't need to be happy or overjoyed. I just needed to feel okay. Sure, maybe I was selling myself short but everything was alright in my mind. And Dr. Elmore thought so as well.

Waking up in the arms of another person has felt good again. Lake has spent every Friday night sleeping at my house, in my bed, with me in his arms. As much as it fills my heart it does also break it. But I'm journaling and making my way through the roller coaster of emotions I've been sent on. It's not easy but I'll get through it.

We aren't official but we are exclusively seeing each other. The thought of being in another relationship instills too much fear in me. He understands. He knows what it's like to be hurt, to feel hurt. He's okay with taking things slow. He's okay with letting things just fall into place whenever I am ready.

I haven't told him about Clay. Besides the little outburst of emotions the second time we ever met. He hasn't asked and even if he had I don't think I'm ready to talk about it. I've been trying my hardest to just move forward. Stop looking back at what could have been.

***

"Gazy, who is Nick?" Lake calls from the living room. He's shortened my nickname from Star Grazer to Gazy. I don't mind it. Anything is better than the dreaded name Turtle. Literally, he could call me sack of shit and I'd be content with that.

"Uh—" I poke my head out from my kitchen and look at the boy who's holding my phone up in the air. "An old friend, did he text me?" Please say no. Please say no. It's been a long time since Nick or George has reached out. After the second week I was gone their messages stopped coming through. I don't know if I just went forgotten or if they just gave up.

"He did. " Fuck. "I don't know if you'll get this but, George finally made it. I know you'd want to know." His message ended there. But I knew that Nick had so much more to say. He could never shut up. He probably assumed I wouldn't read the message so kept it short. He wasn't wrong. If Lake hadn't of had my phone I wouldn't have read the message.

"Who's George?" Lake questions me further but before I can answer he speaks again. "Never mind. You're just going to say an old friend." I feel bad because I sense sadness in Lake's tone. But I can't feel guilty for not wanting to bring it up. I don't want to rip open my wounds.

"I told you I was raised by a bunch of boys. They were practically my brothers. Shit happens and I miss them both to death but life happens. Can you just delete the message for me?" I look at Lake with pleading eyes before disappearing back into my kitchen.

He doesn't say another word. He doesn't ask about it any further. He drops it and we never speak of it again.

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A/N: we are starting to get to know little Lakey boy. we also have a arrival of GEEEEEEOOOORGE. the thing we are all begging to happen irl. woo! haha

i hope you all enjoyed. if you did make sure to leave a vote and a comment. <3

much love, Ashley