start over | dreamwastaken x reader (sequel to split)

07 | GONE

"The one that destroyed her I assume?" Lake crosses his arms over his chest. He's turning into how Clay is with me. He wants to claim me. He wants to treat me like an object that he owns. But only Clay can do that. He has the years behind him. He's the only one I trust to take care of me. Even though he's destroyed every bit of me.

"It was for her own good." Clay stands in front of me. His height towers over Lake. There is no doubt that if Clay needed to throw a punch he'd win. He towers over both, Lake and I. He has the power to take control of the entire situation with ease. "Our own good."

"You're really going to let him walk back into your life and take you away from someone who actually cares about you?" Lake tries to get a glimpse of me as he speaks. But Clay refuses to let him see me. He will protect me at all costs.

"He does care." I say softly as I place my hand against Clay's arm to guide him out of the way. He lets me take control. He lets me stand my ground because that was the whole point of this wasn't it? To let me fend for myself and become my own person?

"I really should have just deleted that text and never read it to you." Lake shakes his head. "This is really unbelievable. I'm losing the girl I care about to a guy obsessed with a fucking block game."

"What Clay did was fucked up but that doesn't give you the right to make fun of him." I reach for Clay's hand as I speak. He's stood behind me. I know his putting on his intimidating face. He's doing what he can to scare off the one guy challenging him for my love.

"Baby boo! Clay!" Is heard being called from the living room and again my heart sinks. This night can't get any worse. This is actual misery.

"And now there's more of them. Seriously Gazey?" Lake shakes his head. "I'm done." He tosses his hands in the air and goes to leave. "This is over."

"Lake..." I try to call out after him but he's already out the door. He's gone and I know for a fact he won't be coming back. I've lost all that I've made here because Clay decided he missed me. Clay decided he loves me again.

Well, Clay is a ticking fucking time bomb and I can't have a ticking time bomb. I need stability. I need normalcy. I can't jump into things with Clay and know that everything is going to be okay. Because it's not okay. We are broken. We are shattered into a million pieces. And no matter how many times he shoves his tongue down my throat or jams his dick into me. That won't solve our fucking problems.

"Who was that?" Nick and George say in unison when Clay and I entered their vision.

Clay and I stay silent. We don't answer the question. We genuinely can't process what in the hell just happened. I need space. I need the boys to leave my apartment. I need to be alone.

"Wasn't that the kid from the— oh." Nick starts and stops himself at the realization that it was indeed the kid from the photos. And I assume by his wide eyes he's figured out why we had moved from living room to bedroom. I don't think the massive hickeys on my neck help our case either.

"You've always said they can't keep their hands off each other." George says as he nudges his elbow into Nick.

"Can you all just leave? Please?" I break Clay and I's silence. Them being in my house is just going to cloud my judgement and mind. I need to be alone. The issue is... I know I won't get that.

"Babe..." Clay's hand squeezes mine. Out of pure reaction I squeeze his back. "I don't want to hurt you." He says softly as he pulls on my hand trying to get me to look at him. But I can't look at him.

"You already have Clay." He has completely ruined every aspect of my life. Yes, it did help me grow as a person. But it doesn't mean that part of me wasn't not ruined. I will have scars. Emotional scars from what he did to me. I won't trust again. I will have chips forever lost off my heart. I wont ever be the girl I was before he decided to hurt me.

"I'll make it up to you. I swear. I will do everything in my power to fix us. I won't let you slip away again. I need you." I can hear in the tone of Clay's voice tears are about to fall. His voice is shaky and his hands are starting to tremble in mine.

"We haven't been able to film a video since you left." George cuts in and instantly pulls my focus from Clay. "He can't focus for more than two seconds. He's hurt everyone. Me. Nick. You. Himself. We all need you in our lives." George takes a step towards me. And I instantly invite him in.

I have waited so long to hold him in my arms that I can't turn him away. I will never stop listening to the accent roll off his tongue. I will never deny him the chance to be in my arms. He's done nothing wrong. He doesn't deserve to be pushed away.

"I don't want you guys just forcing me back in your lives because you can't make content. It has to be more than that. I'm not just... whatever. I'm a person who needs to be loved and cared for. I can't just be thrown away again. I had a boy who loved me. Like actually cared for me and wouldn't throw me away. Sure, I didn't love him close to how much I love Clay but that's not the point. I can't walk back in your all of your lives to just be thrown away again." I bounce my eyes between the boys as I speak.

I know I can trust George and Nick. They never threw me away like I was trash. They reached out to me and tried to have that bond still. It just hurt too much for me to talk to them. They were too much a part of Clay for me to separate the two.

"I can't live without you." Clay says firmly. The grip he has on my hand is held tight. "I'm selfish. I know. I'm sorry for that. But I want all of you to myself. I don't want to share you. I don't want you to run off with some other guy. I've been dying since the day you walked out. I made a really fucked up decision. But once it was made and you were gone I didn't have another option. I couldn't find you. I didn't know how."

"I'm pretty sure you could have convinced the cell phone company to provide you with some information." Clay had paid my phone bill the entire time we were apart. I always feared he'd cut me off and I'd be left completely phoneless. But if it had happened I could have figured it out eventually.

"Oh. He tried. Trust me." Nick interjects.

"Clay!" I slap his arm for his over protectiveness. Need to know absolutely everything.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay." He looks down at the ground. "It didn't work anyways so it doesn't matter."

"I really just think right now I need time to think about everything. Okay?" I turn my back to Nick and George and focus on Clay. He's focused on the ground or maybe our hands. I'm not sure but I know he's too afraid of what's to come to look up at me.

"Babe... I—" Clay starts but doesn't finish.

"Just one night. We can talk in the morning. It's been a long day and I need to figure out what the fuck just happened. I promise I will call you." I drop one of his hands and lift his head to look at me. A pout holds on his lips and I want nothing more to kiss it away. But that isn't smart.

"Let us stay." Clay pleads but we shouldn't do this. He will end up in my room. He will get what he wants. Having him close will completely sway my judgement. My judgement that is already swayed towards him.

"I don't have any where for you to stay. Clay, Nick, George you guys should just go back to your place and first thing in the morning I'll call. That's final." I run my hand down Clay's cheek to give him the comfort he desires. "Goodnight."

Clay closes the distance between us. Our faces hover so closer that I can feel his hot breath rolling over my skin. My eyes bounce from his lips to his eyes. We can't help the pull we have towards each other.

"Goodnight my love." Clay tries to close the distance between us fully but I move my face away. I must not fed into our desires. We need clear heads. We are living off seeing each other for the first time in months. The lust and fire we have for each other is overpowering everything. We can't make decisions on clouded minds and foggy thoughts.

"Goodnight boys."

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A/N: clay literally gets everything he wants. every god damn time. i swear he's the most captivating person in this word. what do you think about lake walking in on everything? will he come back?

if you enjoyed make sure to vote and comment. it means the world <3

much love, Ashley