start over | dreamwastaken x reader (sequel to split)

10 | SLOW

I whimper in his grasp because I wanted him. He places softly kisses to my neck to take my whimpers away. His touch is so sincere that for a second I actually believe he cares about what he's doing.

"I come all the way here. I drive. I leave my house to come fuck you and I don't even get the pleasure." He bites with his face buried into my neck. "I see a problem here that you better have an answer for fixing it."

"Clay—" I push against his chest trying to give myself some space. My body needs to calm. It's overwhelmed and overstimulated without even being touched. It needs a second to process what the fucks going on. My mind is on a whirl wind of emotions and I need a second to breathe.

Clays stands obeying my silent demand for space. "When I return you better have a solution." He leaves the bathroom with that.

I lean my back up against the wall as I pull my legs up into me. I just need a second. That's it. Then he can get whatever he wants because he always gets whatever he wants. He's relentless. And I don't mean it in a bad way either. He's got the drive and fight to make his life the way he wants it to be.

After a few minutes there's a knock on the wall outside the bathroom. When I look up I see Clay standing there leaned against the doorframe. His demeanor has completely changed. "Baby girl come here?" He questions as he motions his hand for me to join him.

I do what he says and get up off the floor. I rest my head against his chest as he wraps his arms around me. "I'm only kidding. I just want a normal night with you. I don't want to move fast. I really don't."

"It's a little late for that." I groan as I tighten my arms around his waist.

Clay let's put a little chuckle. "Sorry I didn't mean to do that."

Clay tucks a finger under my chin and makes me look at him. "I wanted you and I got trapped in that feeling. I pushed when I shouldn't have. As much as I want you in that way. I feel like doing that risks... us. And right now us is more important than that."

I do believe him. For once. I think he is going to do everything in his power to not lose me. I could have chosen Lake over him. What if I had? He would have lost me to someone else. I don't think he would have made it through that situation. From what Nick and George have said, he wasn't making it.

"Hey Clay?" I push into his chest trying to move us towards my bedroom. He stumbles back at first but lets us walk backwards into my room.

"Yes Love?" He places a soft kiss to my lips as he cups my face waiting for my answer.

"Why did you stop streaming? Stop uploading? Stop filming? Why did you only post when George got here?" My eyes bounce away from his. Something about the way his eyes glow disappears the moment the questions leave my mouth kills me. I can't focus on his sad expression.

"I couldn't focus knowing you were out there hurting because of something I did. I'd open Minecraft try to record and nothing would go right so I'd give up. It was frustrating not being able to do the one thing I've always been able to do. When George got here we always promised to share the moment with our fans so I had to. But I haven't done anything since the video of us meeting. Because right after that I saw you kissing him." Clay steps away from me and turns his back to me. I know he's hiding tears fighting their way to the surface. My poor boy.

"You kissed him in public when you knew I'd see it. You knew my fans were there. And you still kissed him. Fuck my heart broke. But I had found you. I saw you kiss him but you were there. I had your location. Your job. I had found you in the worst way possible. But I had still found you." Clay turns and tears are brimming his eyes. But none have fallen. I want to hold him and wipe the tears away but I can tell he needs space and has more to say. So I stay out. I let him do him.

"I grabbed the boys and we drove here. We drove here every day waiting to see you. I waited to see you. When I saw you walk in the first time my heart jumped and flipped and spun. I wanted to get out of my car. I wanted to run and pull you into my arms and tell you I'm still here. I still love you. But Nick and George stopped me." A tear slides and I reach to catch it but he catches it before I can. I hate seeing this man cry. He's always so tough. When he's weak, when he's vulnerable, I know he's sincere. It's all from the heart.

"So I kept coming just to see you. Then the day you saw us..." he trails off getting lost in thought. Like he's teleporting back to the day that was just a few days ago. "George and Nick finally let me walk in. We didn't see you but I just wanted to go in and see where you worked. See what you did. And then out of nowhere you appeared. And every fear I had came true." I'm watching Clay like a hawk and I can see him swallow hard. It's fucking heart breaking watching him relive this.

"You didn't want me." He breaks. And it's my turn to comfort him.

"I always want you." Always.

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A/N: the last line gets me man. something about it just sends my tummy into butterflies. this chapter is so wholesome to me. clay and nameless just being normal together and communicating is... too tier. this might be one of my favorite chapters.

anyways, if you enjoyed make sure to vote and leave a comment. <3

much love, Ashley