start over | dreamwastaken x reader (sequel to split)

19 | VIDEO DIARY

Anime bores me and definitely, like Clay, is the furthest thing from what I want to watch. So I know within minutes I'll probably just end up asleep while he enjoys something he loves so much. The things I do for my friends... and snuggles.

"Babes?" Nick says waking me from my sleeping state.

"Yeah?" I stretch in just the slightest. Was I snoring? Please tell me I was not snoring.

"When you left, I told you the truth when you came. I tried to get you to stay." Nick says with sadness on his voice. I had been back for awhile now. I don't know why this was coming up at this point. It was the past. What had him bringing it up all over again?

"I knew what Clay was going to try and do because he's Clay. When it comes to you he loses himself. He over thinks and he loses it. It's not like anything else in his life that is set and... easy. You aren't easy. That's why I told you that he did love you. I didn't want you to go. I didn't want you to disappear." Nick says sincere and I wonder what has him so... lost.

"Where is this coming from?" I look up at Nick sitting up a little to read his face.

"I lost my phone and wanted to go on Twitter while watching my show and your phone is always unlocked. And I saw the red bubble and... I saw you saved our messages. George's and I's. But you never listened to Clay's. I could have had my friend back so much sooner if you had." Nick pauses his show.

"Nick are you okay?" I sit up completely and stare at my friend so lost in the drama of the past. It hurts to see how much I did break my friends. How much he broke our friends.

"I never thought you'd hurt yourself but you don't ignore us. But you did. And you heard our pleas. But didn't say a word. You didn't hear Clay's pleas for saving." Nick is breaking completely in front of me like I'm not even there. Like he's talking to the wind.

"It isn't my job to save him. He made me save myself. He had to do the same. I'm sorry Nick. I didn't want to hurt you. But you would have always picked his side. Hearing your voice the many times I did with your voicemails was enough pain. I couldn't listen to his. I couldn't lose myself when I was trying to build a life without everything I've ever known." I pull Nick into me and he stays quiet.

The room falls silent for a few moments. But then Nick does what I least expect and plays the voicemail. He plays the voicemail that I had spent months avoiding.

"I have a lot I need to say so I'm going to tell it to the world. You are my world. When you listen to this, text me and ask me for a link. I love you always."

The message ends there and I furrow my brows together in confusion. I can tell by the way Clay spoke on the voicemail that he was crying through the entire thing. This is the exact reason I never listened. Because I knew he'd try and win me back after hurting me. He always does. He had. I wasn't ready to let him win me back after hurting me so bad.

"Nick have you seen the link?" I question Nick already knowing my answer. Of course he had.

"I watched it a million times. Clay forced George and I to watch it a million times. He made all his friends watch it a million times. We never thought he'd actual share it with you though. We all thought it was just a video diary to himself." Nick sighs. "You should see it."

Nick plops my phone into my hands and walks over to his computer. I follow him like a dog and stare at the screens lining his desk. I'm curious now but I don't know if it is the right thing to do. Should Clay know I'm watching this?

"Wait Nick." I grab his hand and stop him from clicking around on his screen.

"He wants you to see it." Nick affirms already knowing what I'm stopping him for.