His Madness

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                            ABHIMANYU

The door clicked shut behind me, and I just stood there..motionless. My hands were hanging by my sides, fists were clenched so tight my knuckles turned white.

The silence inside this mansion didn't feel peaceful. Not at all. It felt like a scream trapped in stone walls.

But wasn't it the same before too?

Before her arrival?

The mansion used to haunt me. The silence was so loud that my ears used to bleed. This place… it was never warm.

But tonight, it was unbearable.

Because I have gotten used to her presence. Her scent. Her sight, her silence, her her words...every single thing.

And it fucking hurts...the relaxation that she is not here anymore...that she won't be here ever...it hurts me.

I didn't want to return, I was planning to spend the night on the streets..this is the exact reason why I was afraid to come here.

My shoes thudded heavily against the marble floor as I walked straight to the bar like a man possessed, a place I didn't spare a glance since the night I lost my control and hurt her.

But guess I needed it tonight. I wanted to run from reality, yes. The bitter reality of my future without her. By drinking, I would atleast..just for some hours..forget about everything and live in my dream world.

A world where we are together. A world where she is not afraid of me anymore.

I grabbed the bottle by the neck and didn't bother with a glass this time. Just drank straight from it, letting the whiskey burn down my throat. I welcomed the sting.

The second sip was faster. The third hit harder.

Good. I needed to feel something.

I lit a cigarette with shaking fingers, the flame trembling like my breath. The smoke wrapped around me like a noose. And I let it.

I deserve it.

My mind kept replaying the moment she stepped out of the car. The way she clutched the divorce papers to her chest. Her lips were trembling. Her eyes were glistening. But, she didn't look back.

That's when I realised I have broken her completely.

Why do I feel like she wanted to say something. Stop me, perhaps? But, I didn't listen to her..didn't even give her the chance to speak. I knew I would loose control over my senses if she says something.

She deserves better. I am not a good match for her. Never was..it was just my obsession which turned me into a blind monster.

My Dhriti...my lovely wife. She doesn't deserve any of this. She doesn't deserve a fucked up bastard like me, she is not responsible for my past traumas. Then, why should she pay?

So, someone else will love her?

I dragged in another breath of smoke. My muscles were tight, tense..like if I didn't control myself, I would punch a hole through the wall.

Why the thought of someone else loving her..touching her...

"AHHH.."

I shouted throwing the bottle on the wall. The shattering noise filled the room. But if felt good.