10 Ways to be a MURDER [?]

November 30th, 2017. 4:30 p.m.

Some people enjoy their return back to their home; most of them miss the home made food, their neighbors, childhood friends, even themselves. They missed what they were when they used to live there, with the pass of the years, and most of the cases, never end up being the same. And that is as good as it bad. 

Me, right now, didn’t were in those emotions. Looking through the window  of the back seat of the car, with my mother driving and my sister next to her talking through her phone about what kind of red looks better on her nails, I was in my way to Weyls, to the place that I never thought that I would be back even worse ask for it.

Since the day of the list I was organizing a lot of things, if I was going to does he plan, I had to do it completely perfect. To be honest, I didn’t care if at the end someone find out that was me, but I wasn’t going to give them the privilege to know who did it, won’t give them the peace that I never had, unless I decided it.

I prepared a long notebook, in it there was all the names with their hobbies, places they go frequently, but over anything, the way they were going to die. I was thinking so much about it that at the end I spent the last weeks planning it, hiding my emotion and my nerves in order not to be suspicious in front of the others. It would be too suspicious that me, Amelie, the more disastrous being on earth show in love of life out of blue.

The reunion with my mother was uncomfortable; she acted like if his was a soap opera, I decided to ignore her. My sister, you guys already know. I didn’t even ask why my father wasn’t here, but obviously my mother needed an excuse to start a conversation, saying that he couldn’t make it because of work.

Everyone in this car knew it was because he didn’t want to come.

Thanks to my deep thoughts and two hour trip, I felt asleep.

***

Someone was pulling my arm; I wished that I could break their fingers with a hammer. My mom’s voice came to my ear.

We’ve arrived already. It seems like I was so tired that I didn’t noticed, or I was just ignoring it. When I put my feet out of the car, the cold air hugged me, Monbir wasn’t that cold, I didn’t remember either about Weyls climate, I chose not to.

In front of me was that white house, pretty elegant I might add, all the memories came back, my skin was a sign of it none of them were good. I took my small luggage, a backpack to be more specific, and went in to my “home”. I was surprised when I found out that everything was exactly the same, it haven’t been years since I left, but I hoped they would change a lot of things to erase my presence of this place. For my surprise it wasn’t like that.

My mother asked if I wanted to eat dinner, honestly I didn’t have hungry, and even if I was hungry, I prefer to be locked in the attic than pretend that we are a perfect family. For not be too obvious, I took an apple and a juice and went to the one that was once my room. The door wasn’t locked, so I went in. memories invade my every space of my brain. The room, just as the house, was exactly the same since I left to the boarding school.

I put my small bag next to the bed, for some reason I thought I should keep it safe. I showered fast and put the pajamas I had packed on. I ate the apple and drank the juice. I was going to sleep, I needed to rest well because tomorrow, on December first everything will begin, that plan that will give peace to my soul and help with the dirty that was present on my body will start.

Before sleep, I prayed. Like always, like every day, hoping that God do, move something or talked to me directly. Deep down, I was hoping for a sign meaning that I shouldn’t do what I planned. At the end of my prayers, I noticed. 

Nothing.

Note:
Why you abandon me? Don’t let me fall Lord, because once I do it, I won’ be back to your grace.