It's Okay, I'm Not Okay.

Stunned. That was what Katsuki was.

Katsuki had woken up before his alarm had gone off. Ruby eyes opened, and trying as much he could, he could not go back to sleep. Checking his own alarm clock, he saw 2:54 am flashing in neon green. Giving out a puff of irritation, he decided it was pointless going back to sleep, as he would have been up in another hour anyway, he decided to get ready to train. Pulling on his joggers, he tied the laces of his sports shoes after freshening up in his own room's bathroom. As he was about to step out of his room, he heard the ding of the elevator and saw Aizawa rush out of it. Curious, Katsuki's eyes followed Aizawa; the teacher fished a bundle of keys, fumbling as he tried opening the door to the room that Katsuki knew was Izuku's. Unlocking it Aizawa had rushed in, leaving the door wide open.

Katsuki who had made his way towards the open door, heard Aizawa call out Izuku's name; an incessant beeping accompanying. A thud sounded then, with a low "Ouch", which Katsuki guessed was Izuku's voice. Aizawa had then proceeded to ask if Izuku was alright, and Katsuki was shocked as he heard the sound of sobs.

He had heard everything.

Katsuki stood there, his own heart beating furiously. A rush of emotions went through him, starting with confusion, then anger (at his own self), fear, and then sadness. Hearing all of this was something he did not expect the first thing today, as it was the day of the Sports Festival. Aizawa's voice then came through the open door.

"Come Izuku, let's get you to Recovery Girl and get those arms healed."

Shuffling of the bedsheets and footsteps then alerted Katsuki and he ran towards his own room, closing the door in time, as Aizawa and Izuku made their way out of Izuku's room. His breaths came in furiously and deep; his mind was spinning. He fell onto his butt as his legs gave away. His hands found their way to his face and he almost took a double-take when he realized he had tears flowing down his face.

Why the fuck listening to Izuku say all of that made him cry?

It was because, deep down, even after all these years, he still cared.

He hated that he did. The damage was already done.

But Izuku also was still waiting for the apology he knew he owed to them.

There was no way that would happen soon.

Taking a few calming breaths, Katsuki got up. There was no use mulling over this, he had more important things to tackle such as the Sports Festival.

And he did.

He had been furious when Izuku had won the obstacle race in the first event. The fucking blonde narcissist from 1-B had pissed him off as well when the cavalry battle was in full swing during the second event.

What pissed him off more was in the third event when Izuku pushed the Icyhot bastard into using his flames and lost. And then said Icyhot bastard had the audacity of losing against him without even using his fire.

Fuck. Fuck! FUCK! FUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKK!

Katsuki almost smashed through the wooden desk in his room after the students had made their way back to the dorms. He jumped onto his bed, landing on his back with his arms and legs wide open, facing the ceiling of his room. The words Izuku said in the morning had not left him the whole day and had made him even more irritable.

The problem was, Katsuki knew that he could not deny the truth of those words.

Deku---Izuku, was right. He had been a bad friend.

Confusion filled his face as he remembered. How could Izuku even say that they still loved him? Katsuki could understand why they would hate him, but love?

It was true. When Izuku had shown off "One for All", which he had been suspicious of since the start and knowing about it now didn't help too, he realized the reason why he had started pushing them away was now redundant. He in his own twisted way had tried to discourage Izuku from going into heroics, that too mainly because Izuku could get hurt without a quirk to depend on.

But that day, Katsuki had realized he had been a fool to underestimate the green-bean.

He laid there on his bed, regret filling his heart.

He wanted to go back desperately. That's why he had stopped. He realized what an absolute idiot he had been for those past few years. That's why he had stopped and made those other kids stop too. He had hated that Izuku had stopped talking, not a word even in class when the teacher asked questions. He missed the enthusiasm and cheerfulness that they had when they were younger.

But Katsuki had left a scar too many on Izuku.

Izuku's trust had broken so much, that even the friends he made here in U.A were being feared. Even though Katsuki knew his new group of friends were much, much rounded, sensible, and empathetic than his last. They were not just better, but the best; they did not admire or worship Katsuki, instead they had so far helped ground him and make him realize the consequences of his actions and words. They were the kind of people, who Izuku could trust more than himself.

As much he hated to admit it, he was a total bully. And seeing his childhood best friend somehow still standing up straight and proud, even smiling at their new friends that day during the festival, had made Katsuki feel so much guilt, that he had never felt before in his life.

He would try. He would try to make it up.

But what if it was already too late?

CHAPTER 5 ENDS.

**AN: Yup. Katsuki's got a heart. Also, his character development is one of the best in the manga. No doubt. The Bakusquad won't leave him as well, they are pretty much gonna set his ass straight and get him to apologize. As well as making Izuku one of their own. Stay Tuned for the next!**