What Will Be

It infuriated him. That even after having his face smashed to the side, Mitsuki still looked at him with that blank, sad look. And so Boruto did it again. And again. He didn't register anything but the faint ringing in his ears, and it was only when his dad yanked him off of Mitsuki that he recognized the sight before him.

Mitsuki- No! Boruto gulped, the ringing in his ears growing louder and louder and he thinks his father is saying something to him but he doesn't listen- cant listen as his mind was filled with the image of Mitsuki laying there. Beaten, bruised, blood running down his face.

And yet... he still had that same blank unyielding face, with a hint of pity that made Boruto wonder if he were the one in the wrong. What have I done?

What happened? To me? To him? To Sarada? We were... so happy together.

"BORUTO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"SNAP OUT OF IT BORUTO!"

I mean, sure, our family lives were less than ideal. Mitsuki rarely got to see his parent. Dad was always working, and Sasuke was never home. But we had each other, didn't we?

"Boruto GET UP. We have GOT TO GO!"

Is this the price I had to pay? For going back in time? For helping my family be happy? What was it all for?

"Please. Please Boruto- Get up, open your eyes, don't leave me-"

Mitsuki... I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I'm sorry I took out my anger on you. You must be so confused.

Naruto, Sasuke, and Sarada reeled back as Boruto let out a choked laugh.

I guess it just wasn't meant to be in this life.

Two hours Boruto's eyes fluttered open to see his family standing above him. All three of them looked worried. Boruto felt sick.

He shot up, running towards- anywhere. Anywhere but here. He can't stand this. Can't stand their worried looks, can't stand their caring touches, can't stand them. Not right now.

Out of sight, Boruto heaved bits and pieces of his breakfast onto the ground. Using the trunk of a tree, he stabilized himself as he retched. When it was over he stared at the puddle of vomit on the ground.

"Yuck." Boruto stumbled away from the disgusting puddle. He didn't know where he was going, but then again, did it really matter anyway?

Eventually, the boy found a small river. He sighed, gently leaning down and splashing his face, swirling some water around in his mouth to get rid of the lingering taste of bile. Catching a look at his reflection in the water, Boruto pondered.

He studied his inky black locks, the exact shade as his father's. Almost the same color as his mother's. He looked at his eyes, as blue as ever. They used to be rounder, like Hinatas.

He gently raised a hand to the scars on his cheek, inherited from his father in both lives. He can almost remember the feel of Mitsuki's hand caressing them, smiling in that awkward way of his as he told him how much he loved his scars.

"No." Boruto choked out. How have things come to be this way? Why couldn't they return to how they were before? Before he went into the past and screwed everything up?

Boruto's head had run empty. But as he looked towards the side towards the bright yellow daffodils, he had one last desperate thought. Why can't things return to the way they used to be?

When Sasuke found him, he was passed out on the floor, curled up into a little ball. His tears had dried on his cheeks, and his hair? His hair was a bright yellow.

~*~

Mitsuki didn't say anything. How could he? His parent and brother smiled and reassured him that he made the right decision, that Boruto could've poisoned him.

And yet... he feels so guilty. The feeling chokes him, rising from the pit of his stomach to the bottom of his throat, and he can't breathe. Because with the guilt comes the tears.

And so that night, when Mitsuki lay in bed, the guilt rose again. Cutting off his breath, cutting off the sobs in his throat, cutting off the half-hearted apology that keeps threatening to spill out of his throat.

Knock knock. "Mitsuki? Are you still awake? Your chakra is a bit disheveled." Ah. Log. Of course. It's not like Orochimaru would check up on him about trivial things like a chakra abnormality.

"Come in." Log smiled sadly at him. "What happened this morning is still weighing down on you huh?"

Mitsuki buried his head in the covers. "How can you tell?" Log shook his head. "You're my little brother. Of course I can tell."

"Then how come parent cant?" Log's eyes widened ever so slightly in surprise. Mitsuki had never asked this question before- never doubted their parent's love for them. If you can call it love.

Though, Log supposes, it was bound to happen. Mitsuki's already 16, and it's nearly a miracle he hasn't questioned anything yet. Log hums, adjusting Mitsuki's covers under his chin. "Im not sure how to answer that."

"But Orochimaru- parent- can tell. And he does love us, in his own way. He... is still a stranger to love. Cant distinguish it from want."

"How come you've ceased to call him parent." Log adopted a thoughtful look, thinking it over delicately before answering. "I can't accept his way of love. Not after going into the outside world and learning so much about it."

Mitsuki frowned. This was not the answer he wanted to hear.

"But parent does love you. He just puts himself and his desires above ours. And I... couldn't accept him treating me like that. So I left."

"Your mission?"

Log looked down abashedly. "Yes. I left not because of a mission, but because..."

Mitsuki turned away. "So you left me."

His brother shook his head fervently. "Of course not. Never. I just needed some time for myself. In the end, my life is mine, whether artificial or not."

He sighed, looking at the clock above Mitsuki's table/bed. "It's late." He leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to Mitsuki's head. "Go to bed. If you want, we can discuss this more in the morning."

Mitsuki nodded, staring as Log left. Alone with his thoughts, he wondered. My life is mine. Yet I know so little.

Boruto's words rang in his head.

"If you want some answers, drink it."

"So... you threw it out? ... it's gone? It all meant nothing to you?"

No. Mitsuki pulled out a vial, the rainbow swirls calming him somewhat. He smiled grimly, murmuring, "I tried. But it seemed so precious to you... and who am I to throw out a gift?"

He uncorked the bottle, gently holding it in his hands. Mitsuki gulped, bringing the potion up to his mouth.

Mitsuki felt dizzy. Dizzy....

Ah-

These memories... they aren't his.

But they are.