TommyInnit's unbeatable method of avoiding sudden death

You Got Games On Your Phone?

"You'll never be as good as me. Your defenestration skills are lacking."

"Why don't I let you experience it firsthand?" Tubbo smiles.

Wilbur pauses before frowning, "Are you threatening me?"

"Am I?" Tubbo tilts his head.

"Phil, Phil, he's threatening me, Phil, I want - I need to-"

"No defenestration Wil," Philza groans.

"But-"

" No. "

Tubbo waves a hand dismissively, "No, go ahead Willow. Defenestrate me," He smiles.

Ranboob snaps his eyes open suddenly, sitting up in alarm. He seems momentarily confused, glancing around frantically before he notices Tubbo at his side.

"Don't do whatever you're doing," Ranboob tells the boy, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"What?" Tubbo pouts, "I'm not doing anything."

Ranboob narrows his eyes, "Uh huh, sure buddy. Don't make me hold you."

"Wha- Boo, I'm not doing anything," Tubbo whines, "Willow just thought I was threatening him."

Ranboob stares, " ...Were you?"

Tubbo widens his eyes, "No.

Ranboob sighs, "So you were."

"Are you, like, his translator or somethin'?" Technoblade stares at the two of them.

"No."

"Yes."

Technoblade nods, "Cool."

"Can we just have breakfast?" Philza sighs.

Tommy nods repeatedly, "Yes Philza, of course Philza."

"Mate, please call me Phil."

As if.

He would never disrespect the only man ever.

Tommy shakes his head, "Sorry Philza, no can do Philza."

"I can make breakfast," Ranboob pipes up with a smile, "I make it for Tubbo all the time."

Tubbo's eyes widen and he chuckles nervously, "Yeah, haha, you do. But maybe, today someone else should do it."

"No, Ranboo you can do it," Philza nods with a smile, "I'm sure it'll be lovely."

Tommy watched as Tubbo frantically shakes his head, trying to make some sort of cutting motion, then a throwing up motion which ends with him dying.

Oh god.

"Philza, I don't think Ranboob should make it," Tommy tries to advise like the saint he is. Being a good samaritan.

"It's Ranboo, actually," Ranboob sighs.

"Shut up, Ranboob."

"I want Ranboo's cereal," Technoblade raises his hand.

Ranboob waves his hands dismissively, smiling sadly, "No it's fine, it's fine, you don't have to eat my food. I was only offering haha. Don't - don't worry guys, I don't want to pressure you into anything."

They all stare at the abnormally tall child before sighing.

Fuck.

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