TommyInnit's unbeatable method of avoiding sudden death

The Festive Christmas Special

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"Michael looks so cute," Tubbo coos as places reindeer antlers on the toddler's head.

Michael stares up at him blankly.

"Isn't he so cute, Boo?" Tubbo turns to his friend.

"Mhm, mhm," Ranboo nods with a smile as he takes pictures of the child, "Very cute."

"Michael say 'happy holidays!'" Tubbo orders the child.

"I uh, I don't think he's going to say that, Tubbo, he only knows like, three words, and one of them is divorce."

"Divorce!" Michael exclaims with a grin.

Ranboo sighs.

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Tommy has the best idea in existence. And yes, he does get these kinds of ideas very often, so he can understand if you are astounded by his intellect and prowess.

He's going to steal Technoblade's sword.

And you may be thinking, TommyInnit, the courageous and talented and handsome and charismatic vigilante, are you sure this is a good idea?

The answer is that he has no clue. He would like to think that it is a good idea and therefore it is.

That's his thought process. Genius, he knows.

He's so fucking stealthy as he tucks and rolls into the hero's room, crawling on the floor to victory.

The room is empty, and the coast is clear. Tommy gasps as he beholds the beautiful, wonderful sword. The red handle glistens in the wind, shining and majestic. It calls to him.

" Tommy, Tommy, " It says, " Wield me, Tommy," it pleads.

And well, who is Tommy to say no to the best blade in existence?

He inhales deeply, preparing himself as he grasps the handle and thrusts the sword into the air.

Battle music plays in the distance.

"I am pogchamp, " He whispers to himself.

This is probably the best day of Tommy's life.

He does an awesome spin of the handle and walks towards the balcony, sliding the glass doors open with pure strength. Philza, he's so powerful.

"Time to be epic," He says solemnly and jumps into the snowy afternoon sky.

TommyInnit truly is a master at stealth and secrecy.

_______

Phil and Techno stand side by side in the doorway, as they watch the teenager jump off the balcony

"He just took your sword," Phil observes.

"Yeah," Techno sighs.

"You gonna go after him or?"

Techno runs a hand through his hair in exasperation, "I'll give him a minute."

_______

Tommy strolls into the supermarket, whistling under his breath.

The customers stare at him weirdly and he rolls his eyes. Honestly. He sighs, sheathing the sword into his belt to appease the masses.

"What? You never seen a sword before?" He calls out to them, glaring. People can be so judgemental these days.

A mother huddles her son closer to her chest, "Don't look at him, Timmy," She whispers to the little boy.