Land of Memory - a Hermitcraft and last life threequel

Tango's death runs through my head again. 

Screaming at Etho.

Challenging him.

Killing Tango.

Dying.

And then realising what I'd done. 

I don't speak as me, Grian, and Tango cross the server, in search of some kind of shelter or a place to make our own. None of us do. The silence is unbearable, but conversation would be worse. I don't know where we're going. I don't know whether to suggest Skizz Point. It would probably be occupied by now, and the last thing Tango would want is having to ally with more people he doesn't trust. 

'So... what are we doing now?' 

Grian breaks the silence. It's as awkward as I thought it would be. Tango shrugs, and I look down at the ground.

'Finding somewhere do go? I don't want to be walking around forever.' I reply. 

'Where?' Grian asks.

'Somewhere alone.' Tango replies. Silence again. We continue walking. 

'I was thinking my old base, but it's probably occupied.' I offer. 

'Skizz point? We can try it.'

'No other people.' Tango insists again. 'They'll just kill us.'

I don't reply, everything telling me it's my fault. It is. I killed him. Me killing him was the last straw. Me choosing to kill the last person that deserved to die over sacrificing myself. 

'Not Skizz point then.' 

SolidarityGaming was slain by DocM77 using THE END OF THE SO DEAD

I'm first to see the message in chat. There's a moment of confusion where I try to figure out what happened.

'Doc just killed Jimmy.' I say. Grian stops. 

'What?! Why?'

'Oh s**t... he was on his last life.'

'What?! No...' Grian opened chat in a rush, reading the message as it came up. 'No, no, no, no... why did you he do that?! And- the- the name of the weapon- the...'

'The end of the SO DEAD...' it finally sinks in. 'No, this can't be happening...' I begin to pace. 

'Skizz, he wants you dead.'

'I'm very aware of that.' I snap back. 

'Who else was it? You, Jimmy, Martyn... Scar...' Grian stops. 'We need to find Scar and warn him.'

'What?! G, what are you talking about?!'

'Doc's going to be after him! He'll want Scar dead. And Martyn, and you. And Scar's on red. Martyn is too.'

'Scar will have Cub to protect him.' I reply. 'And if he didn't before, he definitely will now.'

'What if he's not just going for the SO DEAD?' Tango asks. I stop. 'What if it's you and your friends. The ones you were killing Doc and Etho for? Scott, Cub, Ren...'

'Impulse.' We meet eyes for a moment. Tango shakes his head.

'No, we're not allying with Impulse.' 

'He might be in danger!'

'We're NOT allying with him!' Tango shouts back. 'He's a maniac! And I can't look at him without remembering everything he did, and everything he was part of, and- and-' He stumbles back in panic as everything comes back again. 

'Tango... Tango, listen to us. It's alright. We don't have to ally with Impy.' 

'DON'T CALL HIM THAT!' Tango snarls. Grian backs away. 'Please... just... I can't deal with it. I can't deal with ANY of it.' 

'But what if he is killed?' I ask quietly. 'What then?'

'How many lives is he on?' Grian adds. 'I don't think he'll be in that much trouble if he's not on red...' he scrolled through the list of names. 'Yellow. Two lives left.'

'But still...'

'Skizz, we don't even know what Doc's doing. He's not even on red. He's still got 2 lives. He might've even been boogey.'

'That's why he went for the Convex before.'

'He went for the convex?!'

'Yeah. Scar killed Doc, and Beef killed Cub.'

'So he already has it out for them... ohh, this is bad... this is really bad. We need to go to them.'

'Tango doesn't want any other alliances.'

'We can just spread the word and go. We don't even have to stay. I just need to tell him. And as soon as possible.' 

'Grian, you don't have to protect him any more. This isn't third life. Cub's very good at protecting Scar.'

'Clearly, since he let him getting murdered by Impulse in the maze.' 

Tango looks up. I glare at Grian.

'Seriously?!'

'What? Did you not know what happened?'

'I knew it happened. But you mention that NOW? When Tango's already upset about Impulse?!'

'I'd forgotten that...' Tango realises hoarsely. 'That was just before- before...'

'You IDIOT!' I shove Grian. 'You don't just SAY stuff like that!'

'I'm sorry! I didn't realise. I'm stupid.' Grian backs away. 'Tango, I'm sorry.' He looks over to where Tango was, but he's disappeared. 'Tango?!'

'I think you've scared him away.' I explain pointedly. Grian doesn't speak. 

'Oh s**t.'

'Yeah, oh s**t is the right response.' 

'Tango! I'm sorry!' He runs off. I follow behind. 'Please! Come back!'

It seems like he didn't go that far, since we find him behind the nearest tree, staring into some middle distance of pain. 

'Tango, please.' I crouch next to him. 'Think about good stuff that happened. Think about- think about...'

'Hermitcraft. Your base. Toon Towers.' Grian finishes. 'Something good. Something that won't make you think about him... Tango please, I'm so, so, so sorry.' 

'I can't do this... every time he's mentioned I'll just freak out... I can't think about anything without it all going back to him... And then panicking... And I don't know if we're ever going to get out of here, and I can't trust anyone anyway!' 

'Tango, it's alright. We're here to help you.'

'I'm so sorry for mentioning it...' Grian adds. 'I'm just stupid.'

Tango ignores him. I look up.

'Why don't you go talk to Scar, and I'll stay here with Tango.'

'Alright. Don't go anywhere, or I won't know where you are. It seems we can't use chat for anything except death messages, and I don't want to have to rename a sword and kill someone to ask where you are.'

'We won't. Try not to take too long. In case Doc comes or anything else happens.'

'I'll be as fast as I can.' Grian promises. 'See you soon.'

And with that, he disappears into the forest. 

There was one round of Tango's not-among-us-but-definitely-a-copy-of-it stream where they were all in teams trying to kill the other teams and at one point Skizz friendly-fired on Tango and my mind just went straight back to this book