start over | dreamwastaken x reader (sequel to split)

{ BONUS } FIRST TIME

"Hey." Clay's hands reach up and cup my cheeks. I've been in this position too many times before with him. It's his comfort pose. He's normally catching tears with his thumbs but now, it's just for my undivided attention. He wants me to block out the world around us. He wants it to be just the two of us. "What's wrong?"

I feed into his touch as I shrug my shoulders in response. I want to kiss you and I can't.

"Baby!" I step away as Clay's girlfriend's voice fills my ears. Her voice is like nails on a fucking chalkboard. I cannot stand it. Every part of me wants to cover my ears with my hands but I know that's rude and uncalled for.

Before I even have to deal with her though I start to walk away. Clay's hand catches mine which causes me to glance back at him. I shake my head at him and head towards his room. She wasn't supposed to come. This was for me. Not her. Not them.

***

Despite the party happening throughout the house Clay's room is quiet. There isn't a million conversations or music blaring. There isn't people chanting chug or people scream singing lyrics awfully. It's just me and my mind and that's all.

That's until the door knob to Clay's room clicks pulling my attention to his door. Clay's stood there alone motioning for me to come over to him. I hesitate. I look at him in the dark. I look at the way the moonlight bounces off his features cascading shadows so beautifully onto his skin.

"Apple of my eye." Clay reaches his hand out and I take it. My finger tips catching the tips of his. In one swift pull I'm pressed against him again. My body colliding roughy into his.

The moment my body hits his his hands are back to my cheeks. "Fuck it." His lips press hard into mine and it's as if all air that exists is the world is taken away. There is no will to gasp. There is nothing to gasp. I'm shocked. But I don't fight it.

When Clay pulls away my bottom lip pulls away with him. His teeth catch my bottom lip between them. I know right away my lips swell at the... whatever the fuck that was.

"Clay..." I teeter off not being able to make eye contact with him.

My brain can't even begin to process what the fuck just happened with a sober mind. Let alone this happening on a tipsy one. I'm suffocating yet also igniting for more.

"Shut up right now." He begs. Practically pleads before crashing his lips back into mine.

We've talked about this. Hooking up. Everyone thinks we do. It's the very reason I was broken up with. It's the reason both him and I can't hold a relationship. No one understands the bond we have and they automatically jump to the conclusion that we are cheating on them.

Talking though, and doing, are too different things. I understand where this is coming from but at the same time I don't. He was just with his girlfriend. He was cheating on his girlfriend. This was not okay.

This time when his lips crash into mine I don't panic. I get lost in his lips on mine. I get lost in the feeling of his tongue swiping across my lips. I get lost in my tongue pressed against his. I get lost in every deep feeling I've ever felt for this boy that I've tried to hide.

"Aps I need you... right now." He says as our mouths break for only a second. Just long enough for him to speak. Just long enough for me to breathe.

Need me?

Before his words can even travel down a rabbit hole I'm being lifted up off the ground and laid gently back onto his bed. A bed I've spent many nights in. A bed we've done it all in. Well besides... it.