Stuff my friend wrote

Tommy was Fed Up.

Funnily enough, this was not an unnatural phenomenon. In fact, he was Fed Up quite often with his boring-ass family. Therefore, he had decided to shorten it to F.U., which could also be interpreted as Fuck You. Tommy thought it summed up his feelings pretty well.

So, in summary, Tommy felt FU.

The reason for this intricate emotion was, once again, his family.

Don't get him wrong, the sbi weren't bad, per se. They just... had views. On things. Such as 'family time' and 'bonding moments'. Gross.

This was one of those 'family times'. Philza had dragged Tommy, Wilbur and Techno to something that was a cross between a farm and a zoo. Or just a clickbait zoo.

The animals were, although slightly unusual, very mediocre compared to most places. There were no lions or tigers, the only similar thing was a caged wildcat, which was fast asleep. There was another cat, too, a black and white one that probably lived on the farm/zoo/foo/zarm. This cat was probably the most interesting thing in the farm/zoo/foo/zarm, and Tommy was sitting on a bench beside the goat inclosure, the cat beside him.

"Do you want something?" Tommy asked, glaring at the cat. He'd just got away from his family, and wasn't really in the mood for cuddling a pet.

A goat made a noise that sounded almost like laughter, and the cat twitched it's whiskers.

Tommy looked at the goat, which was a lot smaller than the other ones, and the only one who wasn't running after anyone who looked like they could have food. It was leaning on the wooden fencing, watching Tommy. Tommy flipped it off.

This time it was the cat that almost laughed, and the goat looked about as affronted as a goat can. Which isn't much. But the thought was there.

"I'm going fucking mad," Tommy muttered. "Even the goddamn farm animals are laughing at me."

The cat padded over and put one paw on Tommy's arm in a weirdly comforting gesture. Tommy looked at it sideways.

"Dude, what do you want from me? I don't have food, if that- well, I have chocolate, but I don't think cats can eat that."

The cat shrugged (how was that even possible?!) and leaned against Tommy's side, curling up. Tommy blinked at it, then hesitantly put one hand on it's head.

The fur was softer than he thought, split colors back and white straight down the middle. Tommy stroked the cat's fur, easing out the tangles as the cat started to purr.

"Come on, why do you always get all the attention?" The goat whined.

"What can I say, I'm just better than you," the cat shrugged.

"It's not fair! You got to be a cuddly pet animal, and what am I? A fucking goat!"

"Hey, it could be worse. You could be... um..."

"A fish?" Tommy suggested.

"Yeah, that would really su-" The cat froze, then stared at Tommy, wide-eyed. "We're speaking English, aren't we?"

Tommy nodded. "Yup. Don't worry, the goat started it. Besides, I think that I'm just going mad."

The cat frowned, another thing Tommy hadn't thought possible.

"Yeah, you've really scrambled my brain with that one. Tubbo, what should we do?"

The goat shrugged. "I would say run, but that wouldn't really help things much. What's your name, human?"

"Tommy, he/him. And you are?"

"Tubbo, he/him. That's Ranboo, also he/him, but doesn't mind they/them."