Complete Without You (ONC 2022)

I danced in the camp kitchen as I grilled steak, potatoes, and fresh vegetables with a blend of seasoning from an old family recipe. For an entire month, I'd assumed my boundaries had discouraged Neil from being anything but my friend, and like a fool, I'd turned inward to self-criticize. Why hadn't I considered he had misunderstood them?

Because you're so used to being dismissed that it's a habit to assume he'd do the same.

As soon as I'd clarified it, he was back to acting like Karijini Neil. That awkward flirt I could listen to all day, wrapped in his arms and pine tree embrace. But he deserved to know my true boundaries before we took this any further to keep us both from getting hurt. My needs weren't for everyone, and I'd been making peace with that throughout this trip. But, given his ability to abstain from romance for a month and his boundaries, I thought he'd accept and understand mine.

When my world swayed and my head ached,  I gripped the picnic table. I'd left my water bottle a the campsite and would have to drink something later. It was easy to forget about hydration when surrounded by the amazing sea life and an affectionate Neil. 

I gathered my leftover ingredients and the clean utensils in the dishes bin as I waited for the steak to cook to medium-rare. He'd ordered it once in a restaurant in Port Headland last month, so I hoped it was his preference. I slid the foil wrap of vegetables off the grill and onto a metal camp plate. Soon the rest was ready too. Neil was going to be so excited since the meal was a surprise, and we hadn't splurged on anything recently except today's tour.

"Smells heavenly, Sadie. He's a lucky man," called out Artie, one of the long-term caravan park residents as he passed.

"Thanks, Artie. Say hi to your wife, and thank you for the fish the other night. It was delicious."

Once the older residents had learned we weren't bouncing from one place to the next, they were quite welcoming and treated us like their grandkids, which included spoiling us with food and occasional booze.

"Of course. You kids have fun tonight."

I sped to our campsite as quickly as I could without spilling the food. Neil stared at his phone and didn't look up.

"Surprise for you, Tiger. I hope you're hungry."

It wasn't until the plates clanged onto the wooden table and I'd set the plastic bin nearby that Neil's red face and tense shoulders became more obvious. Something wasn't right. He never ignored me like this.

"Neil, are you okay?"

He slammed his phone on the table, making the plates shake. "Okay? I would love to be okay, or alright, or even mediocre. But I can't have that."

When I'd left, he'd been all sunshine and compliments, catching my hand in his, asking if I really needed to leave. "What happened?"

Neil wouldn't meet my eyes and stared at that black device like it was a poisonous snake about to attack. "What happened is that I'm a piece of unwanted rubbish caught in the wind, swirled off to Australia to be forgotten."

I sat next to him on the picnic table bench. "I want to help, but you're not making sense, Neil."

"We've been broken up for four months, and she has a ring on her bleeding finger! In two years, she would hardly consider it with me. 'Let's not rush it, Neil'. 'What's the hurry, luv?' Bloody hypocrite!"

My chest stung, and I kept my expression as neutral as possible even though any hope of him and me being anything but friends evaporated. How could I compete with the woman he'd wanted to marry, especially when she ruined what should have been a perfect day? All I could do was try to salvage it to tolerable.