Artistry of Love (Abstract Series #3)

The most terrifying nightmares happen when the sun has fallen asleep and all you can do is squint into the abyss. Horrifying dreams do not generally appear when your eyes are closed. The worst ones are when you're conscious and your thoughts are like a blistering furnace slowly devouring you alive.

"C-Calm down, Ely," I said to myself as I massaged my head, shuddering.

Here we go again. Feeling uncomfortable, frightened, and unable to focus on positive thoughts. Another outbreak of my anxiety.

Umaagos ang mga luha ko habang sinusubukan na hawakan ang kamay ko para matigil ang panginginig.

"Please... s-stop. Pagod na ako," I pleaded to myself, desperate to terminate this emotional breakdown.

"You killed your father! Pati ang mga inosenteng tao nadamay mo! Sobrang selfish mo, Ely! Sana hindi kita naging anak!"

I put my hands over my ears, forcing my mind to avoid worrying. Tinikom ko ang bibig ko para hindi makalikha ng ingay. Magagalit si mommy kung maingay ako.

"Kasalanan niya ang pagkamatay ng daddy niya, 'di ba?"

"Kung hindi ka umiyak at nag drama para bilisan ng daddy mo na makarating sa amusement park, hindi sana mangyayari 'to!"

"N-No… H-Hindi ko po sinasadya," I sobbed, talking to my enraged mother in my thoughts.

Pinipigilan ko ang sarili kong tumayo at lumapit sa drawer ko. I shouldn't let my emotions get the best of me! Pero 'yong gunting… nasa drawer lang.

"Go. No one's stopping you," the little voice inside my head whispered.

That night, I harmed myself again. Digging lines in my wrist, anticipating that it would be enough to compensate for the remorse and despair in my heart.

"Bakit naka-long sleeves ka? Hindi ka ba naiinitan?" tanong ni Aika, isa sa mga kaklase ko.

Humigpit ang hawak ko sa laylayan ng sleeves ko. I don't want anyone to discover that a dreadful creature was living within my thoughts, concealed behind my gentle smile.

"It's fashion," palusot ko.

She chuckled. "Grabe! Bibili nga rin ako n'yan! You are such a beauty, Ely! Araw-araw ka yata may bagong damit." Tiningnan niya ulit ang suot ko.

We are currently in our fourth year of high school, and as teenagers, we are concerned with what we wear, the shades of our cosmetics, and establishing relationships. But the reason I was so obsessed with shopping was that it was one of my comfort mechanisms for distracting myself from my thoughts.

"Hoy! Umayos kayo! Dadaan ang grupo nila Trip dito!" Gia exclaimed, fixing her hair.

Nasa lobby kami dahil galing lang sa cafeteria. I was about to go back, but Aika interrupted me, leaving me here with the uncomfortable scenario that Trip is about to approach our way.

"I am gonna go back first," mahina kong bulong sa kanila at nagsimulang maglakad.

"Ely! Saan ka pupunta?!"

I clamped my eyes closed, attracting the attention of the other students when Aika screamed in the middle of the lobby. Hindi niya ba narinig ang sinabi ko? Nakakahiya.

Wala akong ibang nagawa nang narinig ang maraming yabag ng paa sa likod ko. I had no choice but to confront them and smile politely, like I always do. Some of the group reddened, but my attention was pulled to Trip, who was beaming at me.

As adolescence set in, his physique began to change. His jaw had been sculpted, and his face had turned seductive rather than adorable.

Teka! Bakit ko ba tinitingnan ang mukha niya?!