?Updog? (Aren Kuboyasu X Reader)

S1 Ep16 Riddle Me Piss Buttman

Oh and the glorious day arrives for that blue haired fucker to go to super hell and his career be ruined. On top of thtbthey get to spend the day with their bestest friends plus their plus one whom of cours was Kuboyasu.

After the phone call was made they happily rejoined the group. "Hey what was that about Y/N? Don't you have a phone?" Kuboyasu asked. "Yeah but don't worry about it.~" It seems the flirty tone got him to shut up about it. Kokomi seemed almost impressed. "Okie dokie let's go get some sweets now! Imma get me some cookies an ic creeeeaaam" Y/N quickly switched to a childish demeanor to hide the fact that they just called the cops.

Y/N happily hooked thier arms wiki Kuboyasu and Kokomi. Kokomi decided to link her other arm with Saiki's before they all trotted off to the cafe like they were going to see the wizard of Oz.

Unfortunately the cafe was closed and they had some trouble finding more as there was only shopping and for some reason an insane amount of tatami stores. "God we are going to starve before we find a place to eat. If worse comes to worse Ill sacrifice my body for you all to eat. I'm like as small as a pig and Ill provide a lot of calories so pickle me or something I dunno" Oh god Y/N is delusional. Kuboyasu pats their head. "I could never eat you. You're too nic to be eaten" 'damn not even at least my ass? 'Y/N thought with a smirk.

But oh thank god some kind gentleman led the way to a cafe and had pampered Kokomi and her friends by buying them all the sweet they could imagine but of course it did feel a bit overwhelming but at least Y/N's friends can cool them down.

While Kokomi did a cute lil meet and greet with all the kind lads who had served them well Y/N spotted something out of the corner of their eye that was outside. 'That familiar glow no it can't be!' Y/N had thousands of senarios running through their head millions of miles per hour. 'Why is that fucker here? Did he know we were going and followed us? Is he running from the cops? Did someone tell him the po po were on his way and escaped to the town we so happen to be in? Does he knoe that I'm the one who called the cops? Is he ever going to get arrested? Is he gonna go fucking psycho and kill me? Well at least then there's at least one thing he can go to jail for? Or killed. Ill see him in hell. But what if he bribes the cops? Can he do that? Are thos cops scummy enough to accept the money? OH GOD!'

At this point Y/N started shaking. "Kokomi we need to leave" Y/N whispered to her friend. "It's very overwhelming in here with all the people and I think Saiki's finally done eating his sweets" Y/N came up with a believe able and half true excuse. Kokomi quickly paid the bill that had been so heavily discounted to 20 yen (that's like two dimes).

"Im sorry for making us leave I just got so exhausted with all the people around" Y/N apologized to Kokomi "But maybe we can do something else with like less people" and this is why Y/N is Siki's favorite. They pointed to a bowling alley "I could brush up on my bowling" And show off to kuboyasu to how many bowling balls they can carry.

After a fun round of bowling of Saiki getting first, Kokomi getting second and Y/N and kuboyasu tie for last they all headed over to an arcade with a sea if claw machines. Though they didn't seem anything interesting they soon had their eyes land on a weighted psyduck plush because psyduck is best boy. Y/N looks at the plush in the eyes and the plush seemed to stare right back. "I love you" They whispered to the plush.

Suddenly the claw game started and Y/N whipped their headto see Kuboyasu playing "Ooo what cha gettin Kuboyasu?" Y/N asked. "Oh Im going to get you that psyduck plush you've been staring at for the past ten minutes" Has it been that long. And of course this being a romance fic he of course gets the plush after afew tries.

Y/N held the plush clos tobtheir chest like a mother holding her newborn baby. "Has anyone ever told you how sweet you are Kuboyasu?" Now of course him being a big tough ex delinquent the answer is of course 'No' but he has been called scary before. The big scary delinquent's face burned a dark red "Um no uh so what are you going to name your pokemon?" He quickly cahnged the subject

Y/N gave it some thought "Well he is a water type so how about River? So original I know" Y/N chuckled before hugging the plush. "You are my son now" They whispered to the plush.

After a bit they all sat down to relax but unfortunately the one who shall not be named so happened to be nearby. Sitting behind them. Oh shit I sure hope a certain psychic alerts the athorities. But for now Y/N had the perfect escape. Y/N hopped up and grabbed Kokomi's hand. "Cmon let's go to the photo booth!" And before she could make a peep for that blue haird bastard could hear Y/N quickly dragged Kokomi along to the photo booths, leaving the boys behind to regroup later.

Before Kokomi could exress her anger Y/N just tried to explain the situation but they couldn't get a good breath to make any noise. Soon enough the sounds of her brother being arrested off in the distance explained it all. They pooe their heads oit of the booth to watch. "Fucking finally" Y/N said after catching their breath. "Ah god I feel like I'm going to throw up."

Kokomi pat Y/N's back and took those photos to avoid and suspicion from the boys. "Alright I think I should go home now" Y/N groaned while regrouping with the boys. "I don't feel too good Mr. Stark" God what was in those cookies they ate?

"I'll walk you home Y/N. You shouldn't be going alone if you're feeling unwell" Kuboyasu offered. God ain't he the perfect man.

Unfortunately those sweets did a number on their body. Turns out the reason why there weren't that many cafe's is because they were shut down due to not properly baking their pastries. Y/N spent the next week sick and full of gross salmonella, E coli, and all the gross food poisoning. And due to the cold waether and their shitty immune system they had gotten a cold over winter break. But despite all the vomiting and such, Kuboyasu was there to check on them everyday. Sometimes he'd bring Y/N's other friends but he mostly came by himslef. God, Y/N is falling more in love each day.

Luckily they were well enough to go back to school when everyone else did but they still felt weak physically, something that's gonna take while to getting use to after being bed ridden. They wore a facemask and they were still so congested that they sounded like Zach. Ya know oneyplays? That guy.

They happily walked for a bit with their friends and as much as their legs hurt and how much Hairo and Nendou offered to carry them back home they refused. They must stay strong even when feeling shitty. Kaido gets it. But soon enough here comes their 'goody goody' crush wearing a mask. 'Ah shit I got him sick. God maybe that's how Kaido got sick as well from his few visits'

But now's not the time to be mopey. in the philosophy of Bo Burnham they shall heal themselves with self deprecating comedy. "God my voice is so weird and gross like a uh a fuckiiiin warlock that sells keys but you hav to pay by answering riddles or some shit like that" They then rasied their voice to be shrill sounding with a magic fantasy accent if that makes sense "If you want a key from me then you must answer my riddles three but since you're my friens I shall give you the discount of one riddle!" Y/N let out a couch "Riddle me this! I am an amphibian of land yet I am controlled by the hand of man! What am I"

After some thought they gave up. "It's Kermit th ftog dummies! No keys for you! Try again when this voice doesn't hurt my throat" They then let out on of those hacking coughs. At least they got a chuckle from Nendou.

Despite their misfortune they feel as if this year ia going to be a good one.

[Updog ;) ]