Zenosyne;
The sense that time is always getting faster. As a kid you run around so fast, the world around you seems to stand still. A summer vacation can stretch on for an eternity. With each birthday we circle back and cross the same point around the sun. We wish each other 'many happy returns.' But soon you feel the circle begin to tighten, and you realize it's a spiral, and you're already halfway through.
Achilles Dion is not someone to be messed with. Never was, never will be. Even if he was only some teenage boy who barely spoke to anyone. It was a known fact, do not mess with him, Achilles knows how to fuck someone up.
He's used to getting fucked up himself. His dad make sure he knew how to take a beating. Achilles was completely fucked up, if he had to be honest.
But he didn't have to, so he wasn't. No, Achilles was... Complicated, antisocial, rough around the edges, better off by himself, maybe even mean, if you'd like to go that far. But he wasn't fucked up, no, at least he wouldn't admit it. His mom would say he's irresponsible, ridiculous, lazy. His father would say he's a fag, disgusting, a disappointment, better off dead. His mom probably agreed with all of those, but she didn't show it as much as his dad did.
When he was a kid, things were fine. Barely any beatings, smiles were constant, life was great.
And then everything started to happen so fast, life going to ruins so goddamn fast. He wished he could go back.
Go back to not being who he is now, go back to when 1 year felt like so much and he wondered what he'd be like when he was 17, and when he still thought life didn't fucking suck so bad. When his age didn't even have two digits and things were simple and a single smile could make time stop.
Oh, how he wished time would stop. Even for a second, he wished it'd stop. Or at least slow down.
It felt like the end of his life was coming, but not as if he was going to die, no. As if... Things were getting worst by the second, and the absolute and total death of his happiness was coming.
He didn't have much happiness left, to be honest. But how could he, anyway? He was never even properly allowed to be happy, was he?
He just went with it. Time was fast, and he had to keep up with it, even though he did most things on autopilot by now. He didn't care much anymore. Another disappointment? Okay. Another punch? That's fine. Another time getting almost killed by his dad? Used to it at this point.
Another visitor coming to stay in his house? He didn't even care.
When his father made it clear to him that he should behave when the two guests arrived, he didn't mind, he was used to it. Used to his father making it too clear.
Be polite, smile, be graceful, dress nicely, be perfect, don't show any weakness, do not even dare to think about showing any flaws. You're perfection, that's what you have to be. Do you want to die? No. Then listen, listen, listen. Do as you're told. You're graceful, you're perfect, you're responsible. You're a disappointment, just shut the fuck up and do what I'm telling you to do. Make them love you. I don't. They have to, or you're dead. Do the bare minimum, be. fucking. perfect.
It's fine, you're fine. He told himself. He was the only one who even actually cared if he was fine or not. He could have a panic attack, throw up, kill himself. As long as it didn't bother anyone. He's fine.
"Achilles, my son. Kattya, my wife" His dad said 'proudly' with a smile. The two guests smiled charmingly. Whatever, Achilles just wanted to get the fuck out of there and scream into a pillow and hit his head to a wall and maybe paint, if he had the time.
"Ravi de vous rencontrer tous les deux" (pleasure to meet you both) The words left his mouth naturally, automatically. He didn't even have to think, so used to this by now.
