Don't Go

(Tw: Panic attack in detail)

"George??" I heard a muffled voice beside me.

I quickly snapped back into reality. I looked- oh, it was Quackity. I've been sitting with the guys who intruded my space at lunch that long while ago and they are... okay. I guess you could say that we were friendly.

"Hm?" I asked, confused as I snapped back into reality, rapidly blinking. "You zoned out there, are you alright?" He asked, worry clouding his eyes.

I nodded, "Yeah, don't worry, just distracted." I reasoned, my hands gripping my seat. He shrugged and turned back to continue his conversation with Karl.

As I watched them talk... all of a sudden a bad feeling washed over me. Occasionally, a weird wave of depression washed over me randomly. This has been happening since I was around 5 years old and lasts around 45 minutes.

This feeling was a bit different than all the other unpleasant times. I took note of that but I didn't think too much into it.

Pretty soon the bell rang, I packed up my stuff and rushed to reading class so I wouldn't be late. The reading teacher begun her lesson. I was near the front of the class, a 504 plan accommodation to help me focus better. "Okay guys! Im going to pass out these papers. Turn to the person behind you and work together." Mrs. Jones said, handing out papers to all of us.

I stiffened, Clay sat behind me. I slowly turned around; Clay hasn't even been annoying me yet and I'm already irritated. He gave me a toothy grin, "Hiya Georgie!" He said, seeming overly happy.

I rubbed the sides of my head with my fingers, "Let's just get this finished with no distractions." I grunted out, glaring at the dirty blonde boy in-front of me.

He seemed to have calmed down when he saw how irritated I was, which made me happy. I just wanted a good grade.

We slowly- but surely- worked on our sheet, able to keep a conversation going with no arguments, surprisingly. "Okay, times up, hand over the papers." Mrs. Jones said, clapping her hands.

We were able to finish, luckily, and turned in our papers. Once Mrs. Jones collected all of the papers, she started on another teaching unit.

I was able to focus for a while but... something strange started happening.

I went dead still. Just a few seconds before I was bouncing my leg at lightning speed. I became just very hyperaware of everything. I could feel my socks on my feet, the individual strings of fabric woven together, every single hair strand that laid on my neck, the exact weight of my round glasses, which rested on my nose.

The lights got so- so bright, it began to hurt my eyes. But.. the only thing I wasn't hyperaware of was hearing. I could hear... but it all seemed muffled and I couldn't process anything that Mrs. Jones was saying. I mean- I could hear but I couldn't understand.

I shakily raised my hand. "M-may I go to guidance?" I asked, stuttering. She gave me a concerned look, "Sure." She said and resumed her teaching.

I rose from my seat and walked out of the classroom. As I walked down the halls, my brain seemed fuzzy and again, the lights were very very bright. I walked over to the guidance counselor that I was assigned, Mrs. Mully.

When I walked into her office, she smiled and greeted me. "Hello George! How are you?" She asked. As I sat down, I shook my head, "I... I don... I don't kn.... ow..." My speech was very delayed and whenever I tried to think of what to say, I blanked.

She seemed confused as well. "George...? Are you okay...?" She asked me. Tears pricked at my eyes, threatening to spill. "I- I don- I... d.." I tried to get out, but I simply couldn't. I couldn't talk, I didn't know why.

A wave of sympathy washed through her eyes. "George, I have to go to a meeting. How about you go to the nurse?" She said. I hesitated before walking out of her office and down to the nurse.

I rang the bell and the nurse came to the door. "Hey, what do you need?" She asked, leaning against the door frame. I stared at her blankly. "I don't... feel... I don't feel o-okay..." I said in a soft voice. Confusion clouded her eyes. "Come in here." She said, motioning me over to a chair.

I followed her into the room, not knowing what was going on. I don't even think I was mentally present in that moment. "Sit down, let me check your heartbeat and blood pressure." The nurse said.

She got a stethoscope, checked my heartbeat and blood pressure. "Your heartbeat is normal and so is your blood pressure, you should go back to class." She recommended, putting her stuff away.

I nodded, the bell just rang and it was math class. I walked down the hall and gathered my things from reading class without a word and walked over to math. I sat down in my chair, clutching my reading books.

"Hey George, how are you?" A girl named Jocelyn asked. Jocelyn was nice to me and pretty much everyone, I guess you could say we were friends. "I don't.. I-" I tried to get out, but I couldn't. I don't know why, but I couldn't.

I was trembling and clutching my books so hard that blood started to spill from the palms of my hands. Jocelyn could immediately sense that something was wrong. "Mr. A? Can you come here for a minute...? I don't think that George is okay." She said, looking at me nervously.

The teacher came over and took a glance at my blanked out and trembling state. "He's fine, George, get your notes open." He shrugged, going to the front of the class to continue teaching the lesson. I sat there, in my seat, violently shaking and breathing fast.

I could feel Jocelyn eyeing me from behind, but once the bell rang, I was up and out of the suffocating classroom. I rushed past my locker, not bothering to collect my science things. It was the last period of the day and I couldn't be bothered to get my stuff. Plus, I don't think I would have been able to open my locker with my lshaky hands. I plopped myself down in my seat and curled myself up, eyes flicking back and forth, observing the room that I have been in so many times this year.

Cole, who was my science partner, eyed me wearily, clearly noticing my panicked state. I felt like I couldn't breath. I was still trembling, freaking out, not being able to process what was going on and what I was currently going through.

The science teacher also seemed to have noticed that something was wrong. She walked over to me and whispered, "George are you okay?" She asked. "I don't- I- I... don't..." When I realized I couldn't speak still, I rapidly shook my head. She nodded and went to the classroom phone, dialing Mr. Rose, the second guidance counselor.

Mr. Rose quickly came down to the science classroom, leading me out of the room and to his office. "Hey, what's up?" He asked me. I was quickly getting tired of all the questions. "I don't... I- I don't kn... know." I mumbled, refusing to make eye contact with the man in-front of me.

He kept asking questions and all I could answer was a hesitant, stuttering, and slow, "I don't know." I was blanked out, still, I had no idea what was happening and why.

He got on the phone with my mother, they talked a bit before Mr. Rose turned to me, "George, go get your things, you are going home."

(1323 words)

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy-