When It Is Forbidden

            The next day, Rafi came by for a surprise visit.  But, he brought Mica with him.  When they showed up at our door that morning, beaming, I turned away and ran to my room.  But of course, Mother let them in.

            After about an hour and a half of hearing mumbled laughs and talking through the floor boards, I heard a creek outside and instantly knew who was there.  A moment later, there was a knock and Rafi entered.

            “Hello, Layla,” he said quietly.

            I turned around on my bed, arms crossed, facing away from my brother, and pouting like a little girl.

            “Layla, how’s my dark beauty?”  he answered my silence.  He sighed.  “I know it was hard for you when I left but-,” I cut him off by spinning around suddenly and glaring at him.

            “Hard?  Hard is all you say?”  Anger was rising in my voice.  “I died that day!  I was miserable, didn’t eat, stayed in my room, because of you!  You didn’t even visit!  Do you have any idea how much pain I was in?  And then you had the nerve, the day you were supposed to visit, yeah, do you remember that day?  An hour before you were supposed to come, you sent your little “brother-in-law” as a messenger boy to say that you had decided to stay “home” to care for your stupid mother-in-law!  How could you, Rafi?  You crushed me that day!  How dare you even show your face here!  I hate you and I never want to see you again!” 

I was seething with anger and rage after my ranting and accusing.  I stared at Rafi.  I expected him to boil up with anger as well and yell at me, but all he did was stand there with his head bent.  He is my brother, I suppose I should have know he wouldn’t have been angry.  But then again, I hadn’t seen him in almost a year.

“Layla,” he started.  I contemplated interrupting him and telling him to get out of my room, but something inside me told me that I should let him speak.

“What?” I spat, fire and fury still filling my voice.

“I’m sorry I didn’t visit, I know I should have.  You have no idea how much I wanted to come and see you, wanted to come back to you, go on our morning walks.  Layla, my sister, I love you.  Please, do not be so angry at me.”  I could see the hope in his large brown eyes, but hate still filled me.  I could not forgive him so easy. 

I sighed and turned away.  “Rafi, I love you, and all, but I’m not ready to forgive you.  You hurt me too much.  I missed you, I needed you, and you didn’t come for me.”  I turned back around.  “I missed you, but now I think it’s time for you to go.”

That was the first time that I had seen my brother cry.  Tears forming at the corners of his eyes, he wiped his hand across his face, looking at me longingly.  “I love you Layla, I hope you know that.”

“I do know, Rafi, and I love you too, but I can’t forgive you now.”

“I understand,” Rafi said, still wiping his reddened face.

“Maybe we’ll see each other again, and by then I will have forgiven you, but for now, this is goodbye.”

Before I could blink, Rafi had his strong arms surrounding me, and I didn’t resist.  I hugged him back.  “You were always so, so strong, Layla,” Rafi cried.  “So strong.”  He released me and then looked deep into my eyes, holding my tearstained face in his huge hands.  “Goodbye, my sister.”  With that, he flew out the door and down the stairs.