Fix Me

I got zero sleep last night.

And it shows.

The bags under my eyes sag as I wash my face to try and wake myself up some more. I had breakfast and coffee already, yet I still feel like the walking dead.

I dry my face and moisturize before walking back into my room and collapsing face first on the bed. "I've decided this is something they can go without knowing for the rest of their lives" I mumble into the bed.

I feel Masons hand on my hip and he flips me over so that I'm staring up at his body that is now hovering over mine.

"You know it's not" he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and kisses me softly.

"What if they hate me" I whisper feeling tears pool behind my eyes. I'll never be ready to have this conversation, but I can't keep running from it.

Masons eyes soften as he stays down at me. "I don't think those people are capable of the feeling"

"They could regret ever adopting me, or-"

"Hey" he cuts me off. "They won't hate you, regret adopting you, or treat you any different. You have to give them a little more credit"

He wipes a tear from my cheek before standing up and bringing me with him. I wrap my arms around his waist and lay my head on his chest. "I'm scared" I whisper.

Mason runs his fingers through my hair and kisses the top of my head. "I know baby. I'll be with you the whole time okay? You can do this" he encourages me softly.

I nod my head, sniffing as I look up at him. He wipes the wetness from under my eyes and kisses my nose before kissing my lips. "I love you"

"I love you" I give him my best smile which only ends up faltering because of how nervous I am and how heavy my emotions feel.

Mason takes my hand and we walk out of my room.

Caroline left earlier today, her parents came to get her. We all ate breakfast together and then they left. My grandparents are still here but they are out. I believe my grandmother dragged my grandfather to an art museum. They still go on cute little dates together. So this is my only time frame to sit them all down. The rare occurrence when we're all home and my parents aren't at the hospital.

As we make it to the bottom of the stairs, I catch Noah about to slip out the door.

"Where are you going?" I ask freezing on the bottom step. Mason brushes his thumb across my knuckles.

"Uh out to meet some friends, why?" he raises an eyebrow.

I debate on just letting him leave. Mason must sense that because he speaks up for me.

"She needs to talk to you and your parents about something" he tells Noah.

Noah furrows his eyebrows. "Yeah, okay" he shrugs off his coat and takes off his shoes.

"Is it serious?" Noah asks. I can only nod my head. "Okay"

Noah goes into the living room and I can hear him move the coffee table out of the way.

I walk with Mason into the kitchen where my mom and dad are sitting at the island talking, each of them with a cup of coffee in their hands. Their heads turn in our direction as we approach them.

"C-Can I talk to you guys?" my voice as small as I feel. "In the living room please?"

My dad furrows his eyebrows in concern while my mom just looks at me. Our eyes lock on each others and it's like she can read all of my thoughts, already knowing what I'm going to tell them even if she doesn't fully know. She knows it's something. The conversation we had the hospital weeks ago at the forefront of both our minds.