The sweaty blankets held Xandra back as she shot up off her bed with a gasp. She clasped at her lungs, breathing heavily. Flashes of her dream fly by her eyes, Manasseh, the cliff, his words.
"Sun, you left me."
The moonlight spilled across her tear stricken face. She patted her nightstand in the dark, hands clasping a tiny leatherbound book. In the dark, with the ever so familiar moonlight, she wrote. For the first time she wrote everything she could remember, everything she felt. Xandra wrote until her hands blistered, until her eyes strained from writing in the dark.
Two repeated words scribbled across every line. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.'
*
*
*
The church glowed pleasantly with the setting sun's backdrop. Xandra stopped and raised her head to its spiked columns, the stained glass casting triangles on her face.
What am I doing here?
Xandra stepped over the open doors and inside the church. Rows and rows of pews lay perfectly straight to her sides. The grand aisle she stood on looked golden under the shimmering stained glass murals. A beggar slept right at the church's door step, while a man stood and prayed towards the front. The church was quiet.
For a long time, she simply stood there at the empty church's double doors. Gripping her hand bag tighter over her shoulder; Xandra prepared to walk away.
"Stay a little while longer; the church of the Lord is open to everyone."
Xandra stilled before turning to the priest. Her mouth opened and she couldn't help the words that have been tickling at her mind. "If it's so open, then why aren't you letting him in?" She gestured at the beggar sleeping on the church's steps.
The priest's dusty cheeks wrinkled around his eyes as he smiled. "We tried to let him in, though he refused. But how about you, young lady? You seem to have a lot in mind." His smile did not waver, his eyes almost closed entirely.
Xandra took a deep breath, thought it over. The paper in which her dreams were written burned her hand inside her pockets. She gripped it tighter. She was raised in a Christian household, attending services, praying prayers. Though it wasn't anything she particularly hated or rejoiced. She wondered what brought her here in the first place.
Glancing at the patiently smiling priest in front of her, Xandra nodded. Her brother was away, her parents were away. She didn't have friends, and her co-worker was almost non-existent with his silence. A stranger, I'm ready to ask advice from a stranger. How ridiculous.
"Why don't we sit for a moment, young lady?"
They sat in front of the stage, bestowed in golden dusk light. "Hey," Xandra started, eyes blank, face rigid. "Why do you think God is real?"
The priest took a moment, before answering, "Faith, young lady. We don't just think he's real, we know it. Believe in it."
Xandra wasn't swayed just yet.
He spoke again, "Was that really what you wanted to ask?"
"Why do you think the man right outside the church refused to go in?" Xandra changed the subject.
The priest thought, and answered, "He didn't want to soil the carpet with his feet."
Xandra snorted.
He said, "Do you not believe me? Well then, after answering my question, you can leave and ask the man why he didn't want to go in."
YOU ARE READING
Counter Clockwise
General Fiction"I wish...time would just stop." Sleeping has always been Xandra's getaway, but an impending vacation back to her hometown forces her to fully succumb into her mind. She has just been exhausted, working to the bone. And all she really wants is for t...
