The Daily Prophet
AN- THIS IS PRETTY IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ.
This is, for any of you who may have wondered, a parody Daily Prophet newspaper written by ‘Rita Skeeter’ (me). I will start from Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone and write articles about adventures of Harry and his friends in reading order of the books. Remember, I will be writing as though it is the Daily Prophet and from the malicious Rita Skeeter (Daily Prophet journalist)’s point of view. As you hopefully know, Rita is notorious for twisting the words of her interviewees against them and will do anything for a story! Another thing- I will probably have to write about things Rita wouldn’t know about, so no hate for that, please, and lastly, I obviously can’t set it out like a newspaper, but it will be in normal paragraphs with headlines and summaries and each chapter will be an article. So, be prepared to follow the adventures of Harry and friends right from start to finish of the series, (of course not all events will be included) and I’m sorry for keeping you all so long!
HARRY POTTER ENROLLED AT HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY
THE BOY WHO LIVED TO ARRIVE AT HOGWARTS ON SEPTEMBER 1ST THIS YEAR, CLAIM SOURCES.
The Daily Prophet can exclusively confirm that Harry Potter, the boy who so famously avoided a Killing Curse issued by You-Know-Who at the mere age of 1, has finally been enrolled at Hogwarts school. ‘I went an’ got ‘im! Special job off Dumbledore!’ Hogwarts gamekeeper, Rubeus Hagrid, says proudly. Hagrid is humongously large and alarming in sight, and perhaps it should be investigated as to why Dumbledore would entrust this man with the care of such a valuable boy. Hagrid seems excited for Harry’s arrival, as he wipes his eyes on a large tissue and says, ‘I know ‘e’s gonna be a great wizard. Look at ‘is parents!’
However, a clever young boy Harry’s age, Draco Malfoy, says otherwise. ‘I met Potter in Madam Malkins’ robe shop in Diagon Alley when both of us were buying our schoolthings,’ Draco told reporters, ‘and he was thick as they come. Barely said a word. He’d never even heard of Quidditch! The way he acted was a disgrace to wizards, if you ask me.’
We are all looking forward to seeing Harry at Hogwarts, and The Daily Prophet will keep you up-to-date with his time there.
