The Book on SHOW, DON'T TELL | How to 抖阴社区 More Visually

Some people say never to use adverbs in fiction writing.

Others say that those people are big dumb dumbs who don't know any better.

Well, it's no wonder you might be confused about whether or not to use an adverb. Luckily for you, I'm always right. So let's establish some basic guidelines!

What is an adverb?

Most commonly, an adverb is a word used to describe a verb. However, adverbs can also describe adjectives or other adverbs. They can also give you information on the when and where of something, for example 'early', 'here', 'there', etc. Examples below.

First, in case you're not sure what all of those are:

Noun: A thing (i.e. 'city')
Verb: An action (i.e. 'stomp')
Adjective: An attribute of a noun (i.e. 'big')
Adverb: A description of a verb, adjective or other adverb.

Examples

Describing a verb: Godzilla moved slowly.
Describing an adjective: Godzilla is very tall.
Describing another adverb: They stopped Godzilla's reign of terror hideously slowly.

Adverbs often end in -ly, but as you can see in the example of 'very', they don't always. "Godzilla leaned forwards and ate the top of the Chrysler Building."

There are many more grammatical specifics to know, such as never using an adverb on a linking verb, but we aren't going to cover that here. If you want to know more, go read Grammarly's great write-up titled Adverb Usage and Examples.

Adverbs in visual writing: What's all the fuss?

Most commonly (<-- another adverb), adverbs in fiction are used to describe verbs. Walking slowly, stomping angrily, leaning forwards to chew loudly on buildings ... these words are ways to add extra detail to a statement of action. Godzilla isn't just stomping on a city and chewing on buildings, he's doing so in a slow, angry manner, with loud eating habits. It helps our mental image.

People get in a tizzy about adverbs because they can be a bit misused, especially by newer writers. Adverbs, like verbs, nouns or adjectives, have a time and place. When used correctly they add a quick little burst of information and clarity. When used incorrectly, they're clunky and even distracting. 

Luckily (<-- there goes another one), as a fiction writer your grammar doesn't always have to be perfect, so long as it's good. So don't stress. Just learn, and practice.

Common adverb misuse

Adverbs are typically misused in two ways:

1) When they're a bit redundant
2) When they're a bit boring

When adverbs are redundant

Adverbs should be edited if they don't add any new information. This is quite common next to speech or character actions, where the context of the speech/action already tells us the same thing the adverb would.

Examples

1) Reeling from the missile explosion, Godzilla roared loudly.
'Loudly' is redundant here because 'roar' already suggests volume, especially in the context of being hit by a missle. To better clarify his emotional reaction to being blasted, we might replace 'loudly' with 'in pain'.

2) Billy-Bass pointed his gun threateningly. 
Pointing a gun is, generally, already a threatening action. Adding 'threateningly' doesn't tell us anything more. An alternative adverb could be placed here, though, if Billy-Bass was acting in a different manner. Pointed his gun shakily, pointed his gun with trembling fingers, pointed his gun quickly.

3) "I don't care about your money problems," said Ruby uncaringly.
Someone who has just said they don't care is already uncaring. We don't need the adverb. Of course, if Ruby was speaking with a particular tone (angry, sad, excited) then we could replace the adverb rather than remove it.

Note: See how we thought about replacing our adverbs, not just removing? In some cases it's better to remove an adverb because it's a pointless word, but it's not the only solution. Replacing it could add different information that is relevant. Buuuut ... adverbs are still a little boring. See below.

When adverbs are boring

Adverbs might offer us more information, but they don't do it in a very visual manner. Fiction writing is all about engaging the reader's mind's eye - that's what SHOW, DON'T TELL is all about. We need to show the reader what's happening, and adverbs usually just tell.

Let's look again at a previous example: Billy-Bass pointed his gun threateningly.

We can definitely improve that. We need to think about intention, emotion and reaction. To replace our adverb here with something more visual, we could play off Billy-Bass's intentions, his emotional state, or how people are reacting to him. All of these might show us the act of threatening someone with a gun, without us needing to say 'threateningly'.

Revealing intentions: Billy-Bass pointed his gun, lining the sights square on Captain Thomas's forehead. (Captain Thomas is his intention)

Revealing an emotional state: Billy-Bass pointed his gun, fingers trembling. (Billy isn't so confident as we have been led to believe)

Revealing through reaction: Captain Thomas froze on the spot, eyes going wide - Billy-Bass had pulled his gun.

Of course, a slightly boring adverb may be called for when you just want to clarify an action without using extra words.

Using an adverb for quick clarity: Billy-Bass quickly pointed his gun. (Billy is moving fast. It's not visually interesting, but it's clear and concise)

When it's OK to use adverbs

1) To add clarity to speech or actions which could otherwise be misinterpreted, i.e. the adverb is required to understand the type of speech/action.
2) To keep things moving if you don't have time to stop and describe every detail.
3) To emphasise a verb where the adverb isn't redundant, but instead adds key information.

* * *

Were you ever told to ditch adverbs in your writing?

If you enjoyed this lesson, please Vote and leave a comment with your thoughts. You can also follow me on Twitter (@dpppacey) or sign up to hear from me outside of 抖阴社区 via my newsletter:
www.duncanppacey.com/join