"This world seems to awaken within us dreams and desires that it cannot satisfy.
We have immense longings, which are never fully satisfied or fulfilled. This is
a clue that the meaning of our lives is not to be found completely within the
boundaries and parameters of this finite world."
I was a very sensitive and affectionate child, brought up with my aunties and uncles in the house, treated so specially, being the youngest in the family then. I was vivacious, inquisitive, and a bit stubborn. It was perhaps in this way that the Lord had called me. I did not grow as a child with a missionary calling in mind, but I dreamt working with people as a doctor or teacher.
Like any normal child, I was hunting answers from my grandmother: "Who gives the food? Where did it come from?", "Who causes the rain, the stars, and moon?" etc. I was always answered that it is God, God, God and God. I grew up too in a situation with a hardworking but ill mother. My high school years held memories of my mother, suffering mild strokes, leaning on me, gasping for breath. And my only assurance then was God.
Searching for God's presence and for God's practical answer will lead us to fall in love with him in a quite absolute manner. The secret is that, it is not only in abundance and joy that the spirit breathes, but also in our pains and failures. When the spirit breathes, we are released from our self-centeredness and enabled to reach others. It is the dream of the Lord to come and love us and to love through us.
"Man is a creature whose nature it is always to seek that which is beyond his
nature. He is a creature made for self-transcendence . His heart is restless,
till it can find its rest in God."
Questioning and searching for this love makes a room for God to inhabit. We may have experienced God's awe and majesty, yet there is also a test within the reach of everybody. There might be a revolution in the heart, but the love of the Lord knows how to enter and penetrate. He does not demand big things, but he wants us to allow him to use our hearts in spite of our fragilities. He being the "unlimited" knows how to enter into the world of our limitations.
