on the map//spencer 'spider' white

10

"So, we all agree that pοrn has given us unrealistic ideas of what sеx should look like. But is it all bad?" Miss Obah says.

"When you watch as much as Ant does," Dusty says.

"Very funny," Miss Obah says. She gestures to Quinni who has her hand raised. "Yeah."

"It can be helpful if you don't know what you like," Quinni offers.

"Or who you like," Sasha adds. "I one-hundy percent figured out I was into girls by watching lesbian pοrn."

"Oh, my God. Me too," Spider says.

"I thought I learned everything I needed to know about gay sеx from pοrn, but it's not real," Darren says.

"Okay, go on," Miss Obah tells them.

"Well, since you can't just jump on a dick without warning... You have to douche first, it takes time..." Darren stops when they hear Spider laughing. "Sorry. Is there something you want to say?"

Spider shakes his head. "No."

"It must be hard, hey? Being jammed so far in the closet you're practically in Narnia?" Darren remarks.

"You wish, yeah," Spider tells them.

"All right, come on. Come on," Miss Obah tells us.

"Miss. I find pοrn a bit hectic. If that's what sеx is supposed to look like, I don't want it," Missy admits.

"Yeah," Amerie agrees. "It's all about getting a guy off."

"Isn't it?" Spider remarks.

"And not at all about what girls actually want," Amerie says.

"That's why I want to talk to you about pleasure," Miss Obah tells us. "Specifically, your pleasure."

"Isn't that illegal, Miss?" Ant asks.

"Yeah. I get why you think that, Ant, because it feels scary. Right? You know, teenagers actually knowing what they want," Miss Obah says.

"I want that PlayStation gift voucher," Quinni states.

"I want a good almond milk," Sasha says.

"I want my dad to be proud of me," Ant says.

"Learning to communicate with your sexual partners about what you want, and desire is important. I know you might think it's embarrassing or even silly, but sеx doesn't have to be painful, physically or emotionally. So, let's try something this week, yeah?" Miss Obah puts a box on the front table. "I want you to put in this box things you like. Things you derive pleasure from. It can be whatever you want, just make sure it's honest, yeah? Then next class, we'll go through them and start to normalize expressing our wants and desires." The bell rings. "Thank you, everyone."

I sit out in the yard on a table with Darren. Everyone else is picking up rubbish but the two of us. I'm not picking up rubbish that isn't mine just so the school doesn't have to pay someone else to do it.

"How is there this much rubbish in our school?" Amerie asks.

"Oi, over there," Darren tells her.

Darren pulls their gloves off and throws one on the ground.

"You're making more of a mess," Jenny tells them.

"Shut the fuck up, Jenny," Darren says.

"What's going on with you?" Quinni asks. "You're more Darren than usual."

"Sorry, it's... I'm getting mixed signals from Ca$h," Darren tells us.

"Sounds like it's going well," I offer.