on the map//spencer 'spider' white

At five past two all of us walk out of class. We stand in the hall by Woodsy's office.

"All right, you know what to do," Amerie tells Darren.

I can hear Darren fake crying. "Miss! There's a man outside exposing himself! I saw his penis. Full lunchbox, balls and everything. Huge."

Woodsy and her secretary leave the office and head out into the courtyard.

"Block the front and back doors. Make sure all the windows are locked and get ready everyone," Amerie instructs. "Maximum visibility."

Everyone stands at the windows with our signs and blow-up dicks chanting. "Sluts! Sluts! Sluts!"

Amerie gets on the intercom, "This is a protest. SLTs have officially taken over the admin building over the resignation of Miss Obah. She's been unfairly targeted by administration and the school at large over recent defamatory allegations. Which were batshit by the way, we did not have sеx. We demand that Miss Woods rejects her resignation and reinstates Miss Obah to her former position as English teacher and SLTs class teacher."

"Amerie!" Woodsy scolds.

"We will not be leaving the premises until she is officially reinstated," Amerie warns.

Ca$h opens a window for Darren.

"Miss, we swear it's for a good cause..." Darren starts.

"Get that inflatable penis out of my face!" Woodsy shouts as she tries to grab the blowup dick from Darren.

"No, Miss! Get your hands off my penis!" Darren shouts.

"Give me the penis, Darren!" Woodsy yells. She pulls it away from them. "You want war, I'll give you war!"

"She's gonna kill us," Darren says.

"I'm calling your parents!" Woodsy shouts. "And I want my dog back!"

"Okay. We have her attention. Now what?" Darren asks.

"We wait until she meets our demands," Amerie tells us.

It's been two hours and we haven't slowed down.

"Bring back JoJo! We want JoJo!"

We everything is going fine until we realize what Ant bought from the shops.

"Chips and lollies, Ant, really?" I ask.

"What part of 'no dumb food' did you not understand?" Amerie questions.

"Any chicken Twisties left?" Ca$h asks.

"This is supposed to last us," Sasha states.

"Ant, ya dog! Where's the water?" Missy asks. She's holding bottles of punch.

"There's a tap, isn't there?" Ant asks.

Dusty walks into the office. "It's not working and there's no toilet in the building."

I'm not surprised that parents start to show up. I'm even less surprised that my mum isn't there. I don't even think she's in the country right now.

Missy moves one of Woodsy's potted plants to the side of her desk. "Alright! Here's the toilet for the night! Okay, use it whenever you want. Guys, please, aim for inside the pot."

"Did everyone hear that?" Sasha asks. "This is a poo-free zone."

Spider grabs Ant. "Hear that, Stinker Bell?"

"Hey, shut up!" Ant shouts.

"Amerie!"

It's her mum on the megaphone outside.