How to Disappear (Anakin Skywalker x Reader)

Vader wakes up tense, feverish and confused. His throat itches when he reaches his hand out to feel the insulting burn of sand. The heat rushes through his head. He looks at the flushed purple sky and, with dread, recognizes the twin suns as they fall to sleep in the dunes. Rushing to stand up, he stumbles from a wave of nausea. It was impossible; it had to be a dream. Just the thought of Tatooine ate at his heart. His curls stuck to his forehead and sweat trailed down his neck. He can't breathe. An onslaught of shivers attacks him. He can't stop shaking. Tatooine never felt so cold. Panting, he grips his dark robes into fists, furiously pulling at them in fear of overheating. The planet plagued him. He could smell it too—the musk, the tears—death.

"Are you ok?"

Time does not slow him when he reaches out to Force choke the intruder. Though the cloud of darkness impaired his vision initially, there was no mistaking the presence he felt. Adjusting his eyes, Vader found there was no figure. The cold returned, pricking at each breath. He held it, reaching out with the Force. Whoever the figureless voice was, he wasn't afraid. He would find them and he would ruin them with his bare hands; he's done it before.

It wasn't until a blue light faded in from the darkness that he felt a spike of a warm presence within the Force. He wasn't afraid; Vader was not afraid, so why was he scared of how easily he let the warmth edge at his outreached fingers?

You haunted him.

A Force ghost. He didn't know why you kept coming back. It wasn't the first time you had appeared to him. With the way your eyes stared at him blankly with your mouth hung open, he didn't think you knew either.

"What are you doing?" You ask gently when his hand is still stretching out to Force choke you.

You see his amber eyes blink. He looks like the shadows you would chase in your dreams. You wish you could stop time and trace his features into your memory before you forget.

His arm drops, but his shoulders remained tense while your eyes lingered on his heaving chest. You wonder if he notices yours and how it sits patiently, unmoving.

"I mistook you as someone else."

Your brows twitch. "For who?"

He envies your calm composure. You stood straight, but he noticed the concern in your tone. You remind him of a statue he had seen on Naboo. The way you move is soft, slow, and collected. He thinks if he hadn't known about Force ghosts, he would mistake you for an angel.

Vader ignores her question. Marching past your ghostly figure, he thinks he can smell flowers and the scent of rain. It makes him flinch. He notices how clean and pristine you are in comparison to his scars and filth. His legs are unsteady, but he knows he must keep moving.

"Where are you going?" You whisper.

It's quiet, but you know he hears you when he pauses his steps.

"To burn this planet," he finally meets your eyes.

It's chilling how easily he says it. You don't know much about this planet. You don't really know much about anything. His presence feels familiar, but you can't be sure. You never remember much each time you appear, only the familiar feeling of being confused. It almost feels like a curse. Never knowing why you were here, only a pull in your stomach that you needed to be here. Someone needed you.

"Why are you here?" Vader asks. "There is nothing here for you."

Leave. He is commanding you.

"I can't," you breathe, although your chest doesn't move.

"Why not?" He's irritated now.

You pause. You didn't know why. Maybe that's why. To find something. There had to be a reason; you were just unaware.

"You keep coming back," he states.

You aren't too surprised. When you were alive, you recall the tug of the Force, calling you back to places—to people. You take a step toward him.

"Maybe you needed me."

Vader doesn't think he could let you bear witness to the destruction he would lay on this ground. There was something about you that he wanted to protect. Maybe it was how you never failed to return to him; maybe it was how you looked at him. He felt like he meant something when you gazed at him. He never wanted to forget that.

"I don't," he lied.

You tilt your head. You can sense he's holding something back.

"Then maybe I did," you whisper as you approach him.

Your blue glow brushes across his skin as he watches you. He doesn't know why his thoughts are clouded or why his Force unravels when you're near. You reach for him slowly, as if you are unsure yourself. He waits, and he hates you for making him like this, eager for your touch. It shakes him as he feels your Force presence pooling into his. He doesn't even do anything to stop it.

Your fingers look small on his shoulder, he thinks. And the scent of freshly blooming flowers permeates like a blanket of warmth around his shoulders. You smile gently at him, as if you saw through his eyes into his soul and past all the ugly truths. His heart palpates at the thought. The Force feels right; you feel right, and he hates himself for having this weakness.

He's beginning to understand that maybe you are an angel—his guardian angel.

Vader brushes a finger across the knuckles of the hand resting on him. You can hear how deeply he is breathing. It's so soothing that you close your eyes and imagine it's yours, and suddenly you are breathing through him. It's intimate, but it's the contact you needed, and it helps clear the static in your head. You feel his edges. They are jagged like kyber crystals with an amber undertone that softens out to a warm hum.

Blinking up at him, you notice his eyes shine blue. Maybe it was the reflection of your soft blue glow. Something about the blue light in his eyes felt right. You want to step closer but lose focus as you feel a low hum in your ears. Squeezing his shoulder, you try one last attempt at lifting your head, but you can't.

Vader's eyes widen, and he makes a desperate attempt to grab you and hold onto you forever, but you slip and fall back into the night. Darkness engulfs him once again, leaving him to grieve the blue light. He can't help but mourn your presence when now all he feels is the weight of the sand beneath his feet. He doesn't stay long; he didn't want to be here if you weren't there to share your calm.

Even when he turned to walk away, he knew not to spare a second glance because Vader knew.

You always come back.