The Old Times- Roger Taylor

November 7th, 1986

I was reading a newspaper on the sofa, when Carrie (11) came in, looking concerned, and upset.
"Mum?"
"Yes?"
"Can I talk to you about something?"
"Of course!"
"Who was my dad?"
This moment was something I was dreading every since we got divorced.
I explained everything and at first she didn't believe me, until I started getting upset about it.
"So.. my dad is the Roger Taylor? And you've met the one and only Freddie Mercury!?"
"That's right."
"I have so many questions!"
"Will I ever get to see him again?"
"Probably not Carrie."
"Why not?"
"Carrie."
"What?"
"Please stop asking questions."
"Why? You're fucking useless. I'll find out myself."
"Hey! Language! Where are you going?"
She just didn't answer me and left through the front door.

After getting fired, I never saw Roger, Brian, Deacy and Freddie ever again. Me and Carrie moved all the way to Liverpool with the help of an old friend, Marie. I got a job at a different café, one even closer to where we now lived. Over the years obviously I was still heartbroken and never met anyone new. So in other words, Roger basically ruined my dating life.

Hours later, Carrie came back, soaking wet from the rain.
"Geez thanks for looking for me."
"You're eleven. You know your way around town. Where did you even go?"
"It doesn't matter."
"Yes it does!"
"No it doesn't! It's not my fault you decided not to go after me!" She yelled, storming into her room.

November 24th, 1991

"Mum! Mum!" Carrie yelled as she came through the front door.
"What? Where have you even been?"
"Look!" She shouted, throwing a newspaper at me, hitting me right in the face.
"Ow! Wha-"
"Rockstar Freddie is Dead!" The title read, making me freeze and making my heart drop.

Everyone knew that Freddie was ill, but I don't think anyone expected anything to happen to him. All of our happy memories; turned into sad memories in a second.

November 27th, 1991

"I don't understand why I can't come with you!"
"Because you weren't invited!"
"Can I at least say hi to my own father."
"No! He's going through a tough time right now and he probably just wants to be left alone." I explained, putting my shoes on.
"Please!"
"No Carrie!"
"Fine!"
"I'll be back later. Bye Carrie."
"Bye mum!" She yelled from her bedroom as I left.

The whole funeral I avoided talking or even looking at Roger, but I wasn't really focused on him. I was focused on Brian.

He looked worse then ever. He looked like me when I was on the verge of suicide. I just knew that I needed to check up on him.
"Hey, Bri. You alright?"
I knew he wasn't, but I just needed to let him know that I was there for him.
"Yeah." He replied, blankly.

I shouldn't really be here to be honest, I mean I only saw him a couple of times and we barely knew each other. It hurt seeing everyone around me who used to be young grow older and sadder.

Of course I felt honoured to go to his funeral, but it just didn't feel right.

I still couldn't process it that he was really gone.

I came home later to hear loud drumming from Carrie's bedroom.
"Hey! What did I say about keeping it down!"
"Sorry can't hear you!" She sarcastically yelled while continuing.
"You better not grow up to be like your father." I yelled, going into her room.
"Is that a bad thing?" She questioned, stopping.
"I just want the best for you. You know, to not fuck every boy in your town."
"I won't." She said, laughing. "I found this in your room."
She handed me an oak wood coloured box, and I was so confused.
"What is this?" I asked, sitting on the edge of her bed.
"Shouldn't you know?"
I opened it to reveal hundreds, maybe thousands of polaroid photos.

I picked up a random one and it was Roger and me, I was kissing Roger's cheek as he held Carrie with a big smile.
"Is that me?" Carrie questioned, looking over my shoulder.
I smiled and nodded. The date was written in sharpie above, and it was (probably taken by Freddie) just a week after she was born. We were at Roger's house by that sofa that i'll never forget.
"The first time you told me, I thought you was joking." She said, rummaging through the photos.
"Really? Look at the mirror. You're telling me that you don't look like him?" I said, as she turned to the mirror.

She was like a younger, female version of him, with shorter, wavier and a little bit darker hair with dark blue eyes. With lots of freckles all over her nose.

"I guess so." She said, picking up the box and putting it next to her. "I know it's hard to talk about this, I'm sorry."
"It's fine. You deserve the truth." I said, kissing her cheek.
She picked up another picture and laughed, showing me it.

It was a picture of me hugging Brian at some random bar that I did not remember and Roger looking pissed in the background.
"Someone was a bit jealous." She laughed.
"Yeah. That's the reason why...." I paused for a second.
"That's why?"
"He cheated. But that was years ago, so it's all fine now." I said, standing up and smiling.
"I'm sorry m-"
"No, no. It's fine. I'll be making dinner now."

I couldn't sleep at all that night. I was tossing and turning just thinking about the photos and obviously, Freddie's funeral. I decided to continue to look through the photos, so I reached down from on the bed and grabbed the box. I opened it and rummaged through all the photos, for no apparent reason. I could barely see the photos, it was pitch black in my room and all the photos didn't have the best quality and lighting. I found a photo of us at a restaurant, Roger kneeling down kissing my hand and me laughing. That was the night he proposed. I looked through more and more photos and the nostalgia hit me the longer I looked, almost leaving me in tears, especially the ones with Freddie.