How to Disappear (Anakin Skywalker x Reader)

Naboo

When they reach the steps of the palace, Vader looks up from the ground to the towering domed roof. Behind it, he sees the vibrant blue sky.

His heart stops.

It was your eyes.

* * *

The stormtroopers had confiscated the device with your hologram after the death of your mother. Luckily for Vader, he had managed to intercept the ordered destruction. He suspected his Master had wanted to destroy any evidence of the Jedi. Sleuthing through records proved to not be an option either, after they had all been destroyed with the rise of the New Order. And so he kept the little piece of you buried in his pocket as he traveled the galaxy.

The dreams came back shortly after. The meadow with the lake, your laughter, the wildflowers. You haunted him and he loved every second because for just a moment, he could imagine a sense of freedom. On the rocks he would sit, watching you float around the glistening water. He could imagine the pulsing heartbeat of the lake causing ripples in the wind. Those eyes watch him from afar, embracing him through the force. You drew him in with that smile. Always so inviting, he would trudge his boots into the water until the forgiving blues lull him to sleep.

He could not dare to dream about you any longer, it wasn't enough. A few days pass and before he knows it, his ship is landing on the fields of Naboo. Dressed in his dark robes, Vader lets the force guide him to the lake. Spring breaks lose as he trudges past the trees. Light air wedges through the holes of his force, breathing hope into old scars. And a wave of untouched laughter breaks through that final barrier once he reaches the clearing.

There you are, just like in his dreams. Arms gliding through the water, robes clinging to your body, a smile to your face. From where Vader stood, you looked alive, happy. A scene so surreal it deserved to be worshipped in secret on the tallest mountain with the highest praise. He feels unwelcome, an ugly blood stain soaking into the roots. Nothing in comparison to you, no power could bring him close.

The sound of trickling water breaks the tension. You are standing waist deep watching him, a gasp hanging from your lips. He blinks the sun out of his eyes, swiping a tongue over chapped lips. Breathing you in is the only think he knows how to do.

Your bare feet clamber up the slope of bank, holding the soaking robes in your fists.

"Have I met you before?"

Vader bites his lip.

* * *

Together you rest in the overgrown grass. A flower is between your fingers as you braid it into the stem of another. You wonder if the chain will undo when you disappear. To the side the boy sits, hunched over a bent knee. Vader was his name, although you were doubtful. He murmured it as if he was unsure himself.

"Last time I saw you... you were happy," he swallows.

Vader can't meet your eyes, staring down at the grass. The lump in his throat passes with a deep breath. It's a lie. He had explained how you had appeared to him before and although it wasn't under the best circumstances, he would sleep better if you thought it was. Because he knew how these moments always ended. In festering dark corners, tucked away from all light, forgotten by all life. Only for them to live through memories of his own. You were blessed in that sense.

Was it guilt? No. It was shame. Vader was a coward, hiding behind his mistakes. And he would keep letting you down until his last breath. It didn't matter if he tried not to, because in the end he had failed you. Still a broken man, a reservoir running out of water. No matter how many pieces you collected off the ground, he would drop more. He had failed your mother the same way, a seemingly endless spout of errors.