There's never been a day in my life where I've been really happy.
Growing up I was always called "the mistake", in a sense I was. My parents hadn't planned on having me, yet, here I am. I tried my hardest to make my parents see that I was not a mistake.
I had straight A's all throughout elementary, middle, and high school. I never once got in trouble and never been late.
My father, thatcher, divorced my mom, Ellis, when I was 10. He said he couldn't keep living with me so he left. Then came my moms now boyfriend, Richard.
Never once did my mother mentioned him to me and when she did, I was 12. I remember it so vividly because it was a day in my life that has forever changed who I was.
Richard had came to the house with Ellis. Not only her but with another girl, Maggie. Maggie was Richards daughter. She was 6 at the time. You could see by the way she looked at me that Richard and Ellis talked crap about me to her.
She was always saying things to me that a 6 year old shouldn't have known.
The day she came into the house, she instantly started blaming things on me. Richard had told me to give Maggie a tour of the house. When I was done, she slapped herself in-front of me and started crying and screaming for "daddy and mommy".
I got grounded for a whole year because of that scene she caused.
Never once growing up was I validated. Usually people would cause scenes to get people attention just to get the sort of validation.
I wasn't that kind of person. I knew I was worthy of many things, I knew they didn't care about me. I was neglected by them for years of my life. I would spend hours locked in my room with no water or food. They cut all the lights in my room and covered all my windows.
That's how bad my punishments were that I had no light in My room.
Richard treated me a little better then Ellis and Thatcher did. Yes I've got burn marks and scars from when Richards temper would get really bad. Sometimes Richard would let me do stuff I never could with Ellis and thatcher.
He would let me watch tv and would give me an air mattress when Ellis would take my bed. I really think Richard was just brainwashed by Ellis for awhile and does whatever she wants and it rubbed off on Maggie.
Richard could be a real sweetheart to me when it was just him around. Unless he was in one of his mood, in that case, he would beat me until I couldn't move.
I would dread when the clock would hit 7 pm because that meant Ellis would be home, stressed out. She Had once thrown a knife across the room towards me and sliced my face.
Honestly, it gave me a cool ass scar on the right side of my face. It starts from my hairline and runs down over my eye and ends just below my lips.
Cps was called that night when I walked into the ER by myself. They investigated but nothing was done.
Which is stupid because how can someone just have a look at a broken home and say "oh the kid has a roof over their head. They're fine."
I was obviously not fine. If anything I was draining living here.
When I was 14, I made a friend. Him and I were really close. His name was Alex. Alex and I spent all the time together. That was until one day this boy named Andrew walked into where we were and started beating the crap out of Alex.
Alex could've beaten Andrew up but Andrew had caught him off guard and Alex couldn't do anything. Alex was sent to the hospital and that was the last I ever heard of him.
I've spent years trying to find contact with Alex. All dead ends. I wonder if he's alive. I hope so. I miss him.
I'm 17 now, I still live at home because I can't buy any place to live in till I'm 18. which that will be in 3 months. When I turn 18 I can move out and pay my own stuff. I can also get an apartment. I work everyday after school til about midnight. I have a lot of money saved up that could literally buy me a 4 bedroom house in full.
Right now I'm making dinner and I keep taking breaks due to a horrible migraine I'm having. Maggie is 11, and can heat up stuff on her own. But of course, she wants someone else to make her food. And that someone else is me.
Maggie said she wanted Mac n cheese but that's been in the fridge for a week. It probably has all kinds of bacteria on it. I decided to make her some chicken and spaghetti.
I've come to realize that's her favorite meal. I see how she tries to hide her cheeky smile when I give her the food. Maggie deserves a better family but growing up in this house is not the best way you want to grow up.
I'm just glad Maggie has Richard and he doesn't show any violence towards her. Richard never touched anyone when Maggie is in the room and neither does Ellis because Richard had told her not to or else he would leave her.
Ellis complied of course because he was paying the bills for the house. He had money and she loved it.
Going back to talking about Maggie. She's living a perfect life. She has perfect parents, her own room with a door and bed in it. I'm glad it's me getting the beatings and not Maggie even if she acts like an ass everyday. Ive learned to come to love her and I would never let anyone touch her like her parents do to me.
