I'm Pretty Sure You Don't Exist- Right?

Chapter One

"What's the catch?"

"There's no catch, Percy," Chiron told me, a bit of a waver in his tone. Gods, he and Grover needed lying lessons from Leo. Actually, no. That sounds like a really bad idea.

"Wasn't that the story Hermes gave us for our little trip to Paris? Or those pearls from the first quest? Or-"

"Alright, alright!" Chiron cut me off. "Supposedly there's a half blood there, at least, that's what Hermes said. One of his own, I believe. But really, you don't need to take him back here until the end of the session, providing he isn't attacked. Just go have fun!" Yeah, sure, Chiron, go protect a half blood in a shameless imitation of CHB filled with people that are probably weirdly obsessed with us. It just seemed like a very, very, flawed idea. Right up there with TAKING MY MEMORY, HERA!

"Percy? Percy?" Annabeth reached over and punched my shoulder. "Percy!" Gotta say, I love Annabeth, but she's violent. I mean, it's kept her alive, but still. Anger management. More monsters might fix it. Maybe I can get Nico to bring up a bunch of nasties for us all to murder in the arena or something. Yeah, that'd be fun.

"Percy!"

"Huh?" Annabeth was glaring at me while Chiron hid laughter. Thanks for the help there. Honestly.

"I said, come on, we need to go pack for this camp thing!"

"But I-"

"Let's go!"

"I thought we were leaving, like, a week from now?" I asked. Annabeth sighed.

"Your ears are filled with fish, Seaweed Brain. We leave in, what, half an hour? Blackjack and Guido were supposed to take us, but Guido backed out because he's always hanging around Reyna now, so Blackjack's going to have to deal with two people. Anyway, let's go!"

Blackjack's gonna kill me for this one was my first thought. My second was how in Hades did anyone expect us to be ready in half an hour? So I followed her back to my cabin, where I flopped down on the bed.

"Come on, Perce," Annabeth nagged.

"A kiss first?" I pleaded with the whole big puppy eyes routine. I know she hates it, but hey, in my defense, it works. She crossed her arms and frowned at me before stomping over and giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"You didn't specify where," she pointed out. Stupid child of Athena logic. Actually, I take that back, because I bet it's just my luck that Annabeth's mom is listening to my thoughts and I'm going to die in three, two, one...

News flash, not dead! I appreciate that, Athena. Anyway.

I grinned at her. "Thanks, Annie."

"Don't call me Annie or I won't kiss you for a week," she reminded me before throwing a bag at me and a pile of clothes. "These are yours. I know you'd never get anything done, so put those in there. I promise it's everything you need."

"I'm not packing you though. I need you too!" I protested, lazily stuffing the clothes into the duffel.

"Cute, but I'm still mad at you for calling me Annie." I groaned. She never fell for my tricks. Ever. Perks of dating children of Athena.

"Fine," I mumbled, zipping the bag up and throwing it at the door, which made noises doors probably shouldn't make. Annabeth had most of her stuff in here now, because, well, Tartarus, so she was packed too.

"If you break the door, I'm going back to the Athena cabin," Annabeth threatened.

"I didn't break it! I mean, not really. Sort of?"

Annabeth sighed loudly before handing me her bag. "Fine, Seaweed Brain, let's go. Where's your insane pegasus?"

"Blackjack is mentally challenged, not insane!" I defended.

"Yeah, yeah." She pulled open the door after I picked up my duffel and we headed into the commons area, where Blackjack stood with a box of Dunkin Donuts. I didn't even want to know. He had powdered sugar all over his black fur and crumbs were all over the grass.

'Hiya, boss! Wassup? I found some donuts!'

'Yeah, I can see that. And what have I said about calling me boss?'

'Yeah, whatever, boss. I'm ready to fly! Let's go, go, go!' I sighed, putting my head in my hands. Why in Hades did I get the nutcase Pegasus for a sidekick? Seriously? I reached for my bag and Annabeth's, slinging them over my shoulder before pushing myself up on Blackjack's back. Annabeth swung up behind me and grabbed my waist, muttering something that sounded like 'If your Pegasus kills me, I kill you,' into my ear. Again, really? I love her but it's kind of hard to love anyone while dead. I was turning back to reply when Blackjack shot off the ground, nearly throwing me off. Cursing, I grabbed a fistful of mane and held on tight as we soared higher, gradually gaining speed until camp was far behind us. I urged Blackjack to go even faster, mostly because it was more fun that way. He complied and ran through the sky, legs pumping. (I still don't get why Pegasi run when they fly, but whatever.)

Know where we're going, boss? he questioned.

"You're supposed to know!" I yelled. "Annabeth?"

"Over there, where all the lights are, idiots. That's Austin," she informed us, gesturing to a huge cluster of lights below. Blackjack dove wildly, arrowing towards the ground at probably unsafe speeds. His hooves touched pavement and he galloped down the road for another block until stopping. I slid off gratefully, followed by Annabeth, and passed her her duffel. Blackjack soared off again, dark wings barely showing against the gathering dusk.

"Your Pegasus is an idiot, Percy," Annabeth informed me.

"Sorry! I thought he knew where to go!" I protested, following her down the road to what appeared to be a car rental place. It seemed we had landed near the airport. She didn't reply, so I hurried after her. We stopped at a booth where a large man inside the glass was smoking and she rapped on the window. He startled, name tag reading 'Mike Haginski', and opened the little sliding window.

"Whaddya want, kiddos? Too young to rent a car, ain't ya?" he questioned, the nasty smell of beer that I was all to familiar with drifting through the small square of window. C

"No, Mr. Haginski, to the contrary, we aren't," Annabeth replied politely, sliding a driver's license through the gap.

"Where did you learn to drive?" I questioned her in a whisper.

"Not now, Percy," she replied, rummaging through her bag for a stack of mortal money.

"Alrighty, young lady, what kinda car d'ya want?" the slob asked.

"Just a sedan would be fine, and a road map too please." Annabeth passed him a stack of fifty dollar bills.

"Where y'all headed?" the man asked.

"None of your business," she replied smoothly, passing another fifty through the window.

The man leered and I put a protective arm around Annabeth. "Alright, missy. You've got car thirty four, right o'er there. Here's the keys. Bring it back by Mon-" He was cut off by another fifty being passed thorough. "Whenever is best," he amended hastily.

"Thank you," Annabeth responded, swiping the keys from the counter. I followed her over to the car we'd been assigned. It was an ugly shade of grey and looked like a cross between a hellhound and Festus. Annabeth popped the trunk and threw our things in before getting in the front seat and starting the car. I hopped in next to her, fastening my seat belt, and handed over the road map I grabbed.

"Why a map?" I complained. "Doesn't this thing have GPS?" Annabeth took one look at the map and whipped out her cell phone, supposedly pulling up some navigation thing.

"If this gets us chased by some monster, you're doing the honors," she muttered, typing furiously. The phone chirped and said something to her that I couldn't make out, but she backed out and started driving away, following the directions from the phone. We passed through what I assumed were the poorer parts of the city before getting on a highway. Luckily nothing had chased us yet, which I was pretty grateful for. I didn't really feel like doing a reenactment of my arrival at camp for the first time.