More than just a Game . | Senpai , Gf , Bf

VERY IMPORTANT WARNINGS: Implied past abuse, Internalized homophobia, and Potentially one-sided love.

Please be wary when reading if these topics affect you.

Senpai lays on his soft bed, exhausted. He wraps himself up with his blanket, burying himself in the softness.

" Goodness, what's wrong with me? " Senpai mutters into his blanket, as he closes his eyes, attempting to fall asleep.

However, he can't. His mind races, unable to stop thinking about the pair. He twists and turns to no avail. 

Senpai weakly sits up, bringing his knees into his chest. Senpai doesn't know why he continues to think about them, especially one of them being a guy. Senpai never has liked guys, never. If he even showed any minor amount of interest... well...

(Flashback)...

Thursday, January 13th, 20XX.

Senpai was with his parents walking in the small shopping area by his school.

Lots of girls and guys around his age were here, of course, his parents began to ask him about certain girls.

'Oh, Senny, that lovely lady over there looks so lonely, you should try to woo her.' or 'Sen, that girl over there could use a boyfriend.'

Senpai, though, had his eyes on the guys, he found them all so handsome.

His parents seemed to notice and weren't all too pleased by the revelation.

" Sen, why are you not looking at all the pretty ladies? " His mother asked.

His father adds on by having said, " You're gonna have a wife one day, Son. "

" Oh, sorry. I just don't feel interested in them. " Senpai said, softly.

(Returning back to today.)

Handsome, all those guys were, why was he feeling that for a blue-haired rebel teenager who is his opposite? Someone his real parents wouldn't approve of for more than the reason that he's a guy. Senpai still felt like he would betray his parents if he really let himself develop any feelings for a guy like Boyfriend.

His mind races as he tries to bury the feeling away, fearing how his parents would feel. He knows, or more thinks, it's wrong. So wrong. He shouldn't be feeling this way. Not at all. Yet the feeling didn't go away. His mind filled with the pair. Ever so vividly. 

He sighed, facepalming. His hand not moving past his mouth nor leaving it. His heart skipped a beat.

"Shit..." he whispered.

He fell in love with a couple that loves eachother. They were not likely to love him. Not at all. A twinge of guilt and shame washed over him, shame he fell in love with people already taken. So much shame that it's overwhelming. He wants to be loved. This is the worst feeling in the world, he would not wish it on his worst enemy. Not ever.

His heart hurts. So much. Too much. What did he do to end up in a situation like this?

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464 words

Senpai realizes he is NOT heterosexual. Finally updated this stupid fanfic thanks for reading my self-indulgent bullshit i appreciate it for real ....

- Amari