Jetstream (Hawks Angst)

The next day, Hawks was back to being a hero.

Almost like nothing had even happened.

He woke up with Rumi and for a change and got ready in a home rather than an office. They ate breakfast together, something he nearly never did before. He could never afford to eat in the mornings.

Then they went their seperate ways, accepting missions and saving lives. Unlike the life he'd been living before, he didn't find himself having a panic attack. He found himself coping, and also not being filtered into triggering situations.

Whoever was now managing missions must have been at least partially aware of his situation.

There was one moment when he and Mirko got a second to eat lunch.

And everything felt normal.

Well, as normal as he could feel. There was still that underlying numbness from the medication, a physical barrier that blocked his depressive mood and thoughts and sometimes other essential emotions for a while, but it was better than feeling terrible all the time. There was also the nagging urge to be drunk or have a drink. Constantly.

But he didn't feel nauseous or stressed eating lunch. His paycheck was huge compared to before. He wasn't worried about money anymore. He was looking with Mirko at renting a new apartment, somewhere closer to her in case of emergencies.

Later that day he went back to the liberation front, but instead of reviewing plans he sat down with Dabi to chat.

And they talked for a long while.

It was mostly Hawks rambling about the changes in his life, but it was odd. Dabi noticed the hero almost seemed scared of the change. He was scared to live on his own again. He was scared of the future.

"Jesus, sounds like you need a drink." Dabi said with a hesitant chuckle after he finished.

But Hawks was more intrigued by the idea than he had anticipated.

"sounds nice." He said, ignoring the fact he knew he shouldn't start drinking again. He wanted to be drunk so badly. He loved the feeling of not being in this miserable reality. He missed it. He yearned for it, now more than ever. It would be the perfect treat at the end of the day.

"Stop by here later tonight. We've got alcohol." Dabi said calmly.

"I'll try. If I don't show don't be surprised though, I'm still not living on my own." Hawks responded.

After another hour of chatting, Hawks finally left to complete the rest of his day. The closer and closer his therapy appointment came, the more anxious he got.

He was going to skip it until Mirko found him and personally escorted him to the office.

He was unnaturally quiet on the way.

"Kei, are you okay?" She asked as they pulled up the the building.

"I don't want to do this." He said shakily. The last thing he wanted to do was go in and talk about his trauma.

"Why not?" She asked calmly.

He just shook his head. He hated being forced to talk about what he'd been through. He recognized that. He knew he hated it since he had been forced into the mental hospital.

"Just give it a try.. it might not be as bad as you think." She said as she put the car in park after paralleling into a spot on the curb across from the building.

Hawks let out a hiccup.

Mirko unbuckled and pulled him into a hug.

"C'mon big guy, you got this. You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to today, I'm sure. It's your first session, you've gotta at least get to know your therapist first." Mirko said, giving him a soft pat on the back.