AVATAR TWOW: Torn between the 2

N E T E Y A M
Eyes of Ikran ii
PT1

"YOU WILL BE TORN!" Kiri yells, but I don't listen as I walk. My feet are heavy and guided. I don't get to ponder on what she means because I somehow already know it. I sharply turn to her and she almost bumps into me.

"I get it," I say. I don't. My ears are ringing and my head is whirling. I feel faint and queasy.

"Brother, you need to talk to me—to someone! These feelings are normal," She urges, "What I'm afraid of is that you'll get left behind."

"That'll happen regardless. He's not here to stay," I say, pursing my lips, my mouth aching with repugnant gloom. She looks at me. In her eyes I see all woe piling onto me like the tall trees that hover above us.

"Please, just cover for me. This once," I plead as father approaches from the distance. "Please..."

She sighs and then nods. "Okay...but," She puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes it, "May Eywa guide you," She says with a vague smile.

I return the smile and thank her. As Father's silhouette nears closer, I dash out of sight.

But before I leave I hear Kiri murmur something along the lines of: "...since there's nothing more he probably wants."

At first, I don't get to feel confused as much. But as I'm leaping onto the dimming night, it dawns upon me the more I think about her words. What can she mean? My sister is insightful and clear like ocean tides. She never spews out anything she doesn't mean.

__________________

"Look who's shown up, thought you had forgotten about me for a bit," Ao'nung says with chuckling humor.

I roll my eyes and sit on the edge of the pond. My eyes trail all about his face, lingering on a few bits. The eclipse gleams the sides of his face, fetching more glow to his Tanhì.

"You always in this pond? Don't you wander around elsewhere?" I blurt, slowly curling at my stupidity. But he doesn't mock me. He merely laughs.

"What kind of idiot wanders around a place they don't know? The only wandering I do is a few meters from here" He says, "Plus, this pond makes me feel at home."

His voice fades. I lay on my back, my arms serving as cushions, and peer at the twinkling stars, making out constellations for fun.

We are in a pacifying and hushed silence. However, nothing could've ever prepared me for the words he lets out after, lacing with firmness and a type of certainty I fear will be tough to extinguish:

"I've decided I want to go home. Two days from now, I'll do it. I don't care for a plan, I'll find my way about just as I found here," He says.

"Alright," I kiss my teeth.

My breathing stills and my eyes try not to waver. My heart feels like it's been pierced—and not to mention ravaged into teeny chunks that'll be difficult to reconnect.

I hear the plopping of water. Ao'nung lays beside me and his face hovers over mines. I don't look at him. My eyes are focused on the sky that I found dazzling at first, but now it's just there. No awe, just existing.

"I thank you, I really do. You made this whole thing bearable, Neteyam," He croons.

His long moist fingers caress through my braids, but his stare lingers on me for a long. "Trust me when I say this isn't my home. You are kind to me and I really like you...but family is something you don't leave. No matter how annoying. I miss them."

I smile forlornly and nod understandingly. "It's your life, lead with it. If that's what you want then no hard feelings. You were never meant to stay anyway. Our friendship will still be, right?"

"Right..." He utters, laying his head next to mine. I turn to my side and look him in the eyes. Shimmery azure eyes I'll soon miss in the vast of golden.

I want to pull him close and feel the soft and cool skin of his cheeks beneath my hands. To trace over his little plump lips with a finger. To lay my lips against his in what would be heaven. To have my tendrils tangle with his...

But I don't act on anything. I lay still, my arms stiff by my sides. We lay there for a while in deafening silence, until I abruptly decide it's time to seize my leave.

I feel asphyxiated. Feel like I can't keep on looking at his intense blue eyes. At the moment I feel like hurling. Feel sick with excruciating pain like I have been punched in the gut.

I cannot be here any longer. I feel trapped and I'm trying to escape away.

"I'm leaving," I say, getting up.

He looks at me with query but doesn't say anything. I don't say anything either. Lately, that's how it's been—both of us afraid to speak for ourselves. But it's fine because I don't want him to say anything. I don't want to hear his voice at the moment, afraid I'll crave more. More of his words, as senseless as they may be.

I turn and walk with my shoulders slumped and my tail limp. It doesn't sway. It just hangs. I don't dare look back at him once.

As I'm on the other side of the bushes, my heart hurts. I defy the urge to turn back around and run to him. Hug him tight and clutch onto the littlest bits of him before he vanishes forever.

I already miss his eyes, his lips, his beautiful skin, his stupid flared ribs, his fat ugly tail, and his large finned hands that I have found funny for the longest. I miss him.

In two days he'll be gone. No Omatikaya will know of his staggering presence but I, and I will mourn in silence.

I suddenly comprehend what Kiri had meant.

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