Over The Years | YEONJUN X READER

2017.

Yeonjun had been training for three years now. I get worried sometimes If he is doing well. Many trainees debut at their third year or less, but nevertheless, I believe that he can make it, he's shown me a multitude of his talents earlier at home, and I was more than impressed by his progress. 

This was also the year that I grew closer to my Christian faith. Yes I am Christian, and I had been raised by two wonderful parents of the same faith. Yet I am shamefully still afraid of the condemnation from others, from the world.

And with growing faith comes contradicting opinions and clashes of views. By now I was content that I would not rush and wait for "the one". I wasn't really interested in anyone anyway, except for my awfully prolonged childhood crush which I was certain that I got rid of by now.

And I did not know why this was happening to me. Maybe because of long distance? Truly I hate to admit this, but I missed him. I missed the conversations we had, no matter how nonsensical or meaningful they were. I missed his little gestures, the rare pats on my head or hitting me (lightly) for no reason. His remarks and egotistic moments which I shut down with a joke, to tease him obviously. And I wondered if he missed me like I did, or thought about it like that, or even missed me at all.

Either way, I am happy right now. I had almost gotten over my past dilemma and also body-image issues. I've learnt a lot about God. I've been able to try lots of food and many activities. I am very blessed to be able-bodied and healthy. Yes, I do not fit the general beauty standards of men, and I will not. But I am not troubled by that. I have a good family and friends. What more can I ask for? 

I do have my college entrance exams coming up, which has been quite stressful. I've cried, struggled and procrastinated a lot. I pray it goes well, and I am grateful for the support I've gotten.