Everyone sat at the table, staring at the food in fear. Complete and utter fear. No one dared touch it, they all waited for someone to make the first move. You didn't want to just eat first, that'd be impolite. You patiently waited for someone else to begin, yet everyone else was literally doing the same.It was chicken. Grilled chicken? Boiled? You really couldn't tell. As well as a side salad. Grim's fur went up in anger, "Are y'all just going to stare at it!? Just eat! It's wasting the all mighty grim's napping time." He huffed, standing in his tippy toes on the dining rooms chair.
You coughed, moving your mask a bit to eat then cutting into the chicken. You stared at it. Was it supposed to be that pink inside? You swallowed thickly, it'd be rude to say no. You couldn't remember if steak or chicken was the food that could be ate at medium rare types of cooking. Silver stared at you from across the table, horrified. You glaced to the side realized that Malleus also was giving you that same expression.
You sighed, shaking off their hesitant expressions. Choking bad any thoughts, this was made by Lilia! He's been alive for years and literally fought in wars. You didn't doubt his ability! Your eyes looked upwards as you cut up the chicken into bite sized pieces, quickly taking bites as the texture threw you off. It was a bit... Squishy. You didn't look at it. You didn't want too.
After a few seconds, you looked around the roof, regaining thought. You were fine. You sighed, continuingly to eat the chicken, and finishing it. Malleus dropped his fork, glancing between the plate and yourself. Why? Human no.
You coughed, you did feel an odd tingle in your stomach... But decided to wash it out with some salad. In which, looked questionably. You poked at it with your fork, it had questionable things mixed in. Unrecognizable berries and... Raw potatoes?
"See! My cooking isn't that bad! At least someone appreciates it!"
"I'd appreciate it if it wasn't still clucking..." Sebek murmured, taking a sip of water and avoiding eye contact. Meanwhile, it seemed that Malleus was genuinely broken. You snickered at Sebek's remark, chowing down on the salad. And it certainly was a salad. It wasn't so bad. The raw potatoes definitely threw you off though, but you felt sort of fine.
Sort of.
You looked up once more. No one had touches thier plates. Literally. Lilia ate some of his and Grim reluctantly did as well. But everything was just staring at you. It made you shift in your seat, uncomfortable. You began to feel hot, sickeningly hot.
"Is... Is it hot in here?"
"No? It's 40 degrees, it isn't hot, human." Sebek murmured, pushing the plate in front of him away. He'd rather swim with sharks then eat it.
"Oh... Hm. You know, it's really not that bad."
They all stared at you, terrified. Not even a millisecond later, your head plunked onto the table. Silver shot up from his seat, scurrying over to your and shaking your unmoving form. Malleus fainted. Sebek began screaming, running over to his pretend boyfriend- young master.
"[Name]!? [Name]!" Silver shook you while Lilia grimaced, his cooking wasn't that bad was it? You still have some color, you aren't dead yet, yet, "Oh my sevens... Lilia."
"What is it, dear?" Silver looked up in horror, he lifted you head off the table and shook you, pushing his hand underneath your mask and checking if you were breathing, checking your pulse right after.
"They aren't breathing. Dad, what did you do?"
"Oh. Well," Lilia thought for a second, wasting time as he put his hand on his chin, deep in thought, "It must've been the chicken, I suppose? I cooked it so thoroughly though, all the way up to 125!"
"What. Dad, the required temperature for safety is 165." Malleus had opened his eyes for a brief second, feeling his heart drop upon those words. This was it. His first friend dies at the hands of horrendous cooking
"Oh." Lilia took out a notepad, scratching off an old note and rewriting in very large letters, 'CHICKEN 165 if not = ⚰️'
"Wha... what else did you do?"
"Oh, a salad! I made a lovely salad for the human... After all greens are important!"
"Yes, I know. And? What was in it."
"A salad with elderberries!"
"Raw?"
"Yes!"
"Father, those are... those are poisonous when raw." Lilia thought for a second about what he put in the salad.
"Are potatoes not safe raw either?"
"My poor human..." Malleus sighed, his emotions finally coming through for a brief moment. This was it. He was sure now. He'd surely die alone. Silver shook your around like a rag as Grim was to stunned to speak.
"ÀÀÆÆEÉ"
"Are you alive!?"
THUD
"My Henchmen is dead..."
"I wish father knew how to cook."
"I wish Lilia knew how to cook."
"I wish Lilia didn't invite humans over... and that he knew how to cook."
"I wish y'all would stop wishing I knew how to cook! I do know how!"

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