Roommates with Benefits [COMPLETED]

Knightley

"Dude, you have to tell me what happened." Noah wipes down the seat of the machine and picks up his water bottle.

I move to the rack of weights and take my time choosing.

"Nothing happened. It just didn't work out."

When I asked Noah to join me at the gym, I was hoping we wouldn't talk. All I want is to take out my feelings on the weights and feel better. Irrational anger fills me and I just want it to be gone.

"She wouldn't just move out like that. I know my sister."

"Drop it." My insides are boiling.
Noah comes closer. "Something happened, and she's not talking to me. If you did something to her, I swear to god-"
"I didn't do anything." I speak a bit too loudly and Noah glances around at the people.

"Did she do something?"
"Of course not." I pick dumbbells that are on the heavier side and stand in front of the mirror.

"Then what the fuck, man? She's distraught, and you're not speaking to me. If I found out you hurt her-"

I can't take it.

"She moved out because she refuses to love me back. And she's not distraught about me." I almost wish she was.

As soon as the thought hits me, I shake my head. No, I want her happy.

Noah stares at me. The gym has gone quiet. My breaths come hard and fast. Everyone is looking at me.

"Dude," Noah says.

I hold the weights in numb arms and close my eyes.

"What the fuck did you say to her?" Noah is mad. Surprised, I open my eyes. His eyes are burning with anger. "I told you to stay away from her. I fucking knew this would happen." He turns away and wipes a hand over his face. Around us, the other gym-goers are slowly returning to their sessions.

"I fucked up," I say and put the weights back. I'm about to throw up. There is an empty bench nearby and I sit down on it.

And it hits me, just how badly I fucked up. I put my face in my hands and almost wish Noah would hit me.

But instead, Noah sits down next to me. "Are you crying?" His voice is concerned.

"Fuck you," I say and lower my hands. But the truth is I could cry. Maybe I should.

"Tell me," Noah says with uncharacteristic severity.

"We slept together. And I thought maybe it was more than that. But then she left."

"You slept with my sister?"

"It was only sex to her."

"Because Emma doesn't do love." Noah sighs. "Fuck, man. I kept telling you not to go there."

"I know. It was a mistake." The words don't ring true inside me. "I never meant to hurt her. And I know you were looking out for her. I should have listened."

"Nah, man. That's not why I tried to stop it." Noah shakes his head.

"What?"

"Look, Emma's strong. She can take care of herself. But you... I knew this would happen. That she would break your heart."
I blink. "You were looking out for me?"

"Of course. You've been in love with her since we were ten. I never should have suggested you live together."

"You knew that?"

"Dude, you were not subtle with the way you asked after her and stared at her." He bumps my shoulder with his and smiles. "When mom left, it hit Emma hard. And maybe I should have been there more, but I was a kid and I didn't want to think about it. But Emma did. She had to be the adult. I don't think she's ever told anyone, but after mom left, she was the one who took care of things. Dad tried. He started working less and spending more time with us. But somehow, a lot of responsibility fell on her. And she saw dad suffer. I ignored it. I was a brat. But she took it to heart. And she decided to never fall in love. Meanwhile, you were all puppy eyes and heartsick."

"I was not."

"When we got here to UNI, I thought you were finally over her. I mean, you sure slept around enough. So I thought," he shrugs, "I thought you guys could be friends."

"Yeah, I thought so too." I stare at the floor. "Maybe there was something I could have said or done differently. Maybe I didn't try hard enough to keep her."

"I don't know, man. She had first hand seats to how love can destroy a person. It's hard to recover from that. She swore she'd never fall in love, and I think she's kept that promise."

"I wouldn't have broken her heart." He needs to know that. "I would never break her heart."

"I know. And I didn't think she would break yours. To be honest, I never thought she would fall for you." He laughs. "I thought she would fall for someone like Frank Churchill. Too bad that didn't happen."
"She didn't fall for me."

"Right, because she doesn't do love."

I clear my throat. "Except she did. I'm pretty sure she was in love with Frank. The lying asshole who took advantage of her." I still want to wring his neck for hurting her. "He was flirting with her while already seeing someone else."

"Oh, yeah."

"But I think she's still in love with him."
Noah doesn't respond.

"They were flirting a lot, and she blew up in my face when I called her mine in front of him. I think, maybe, that's why she broke things off."

"I don't know."

"And when she found out about Churchill and Avery, she was so sad." I rub at my temples. I should have understood that this would happen. That she would fall in love with someone else.

"What do you want to do now?" Noah asks finally.

"I have no idea."

"Look, if you want to beat the crap out of Churchill, I got your back. I'm sure we can find a way to get to him."

"He deserves it. For causing her pain. But no, I don't think anything would get better by us getting arrested or beaten up by his army of bodyguards."

"So, what do you want?"
"I want Emma to be happy." I want her in my life. If some other guy will make her happy, then that's who she should be with. Watching her flirt with other men, fall in love with other men, it will tear my heart out. But her not being happy would be so much worse.

"Knightley."
I look up. "Hey Blue. You know Noah."

"Yeah. I met your sister earlier. You might want to tell her not to butt into other people's lives."
"Emma did what?" I say.

"She does that," Noah says. "She likes controlling people."

I glare at him.

"Well, just tell her to stop interfering in my life."

"Why does she care about your life?" Noah asks.

"Hell if I know. Maybe because I asked out her friend."
"Hannah," I say. "She turned you down, didn't she?"
"Yeah, because Emma told her to."

"I don't think Emma would do that." I want to defend her.

"Yeah, she would." Noah says.

"Why was she butting in this time?"

"Hell if I know." Blue shrugs. "I think she wanted me to ask Hannah out again."

I furrow my brow. "Why would she do that?"

"No offense," Blue looks at Noah, "but your sister is crazy."

Noah rolls his eyes.

"Anyway," Blue says and nods at someone in the distance, "I should get going. See you around."

I watch as he walks up to a woman with lots of tattoos and takes off with her.

"That's strange," Noah says. "Do you think Emma has lost it?"

"No idea." I shake my head.

"Dude, are you going to be ok?"I want to tell him I will, but honestly, I have no idea.