unrequited

01

"What were we even arguing about?" He asked.

"I scared you, remember?" I said. "I jumped out from behind your classroom door and I scared you."

"I have no memory of that," Changmin looked out wistfully, though we both knew he remembered.

"Oh sure," I said. It was one of our most favorite memories, he just didn't like to admit that he got scared by someone younger than him.

Suddenly Chanhee ran into the doorframe breathlessly. "Are you kidding me right now?? We're gonna be late!"

"For school?" Changmin asked.

"No, for Juyeon's comedy show premier--YES FOR SCHOOL GET UP!" Chanhee yelled. He was a quiet person, but when he got angry it was pretty frightening, for me at least. "God I can't trust either of you to get ready quickly."

"Sorry," Changmin stood up and so did I. "We got distracted."

"Distracted doing what? Reading books?? My little sister isn't exactly the most interesting person in the world." Chanhee said.

I stuck my tongue out at him and he did it back to me. But honestly he was right--I wasn't the most interesting person. School was alright, I studied, I went home, did homework, and slept. I was average looking so I disappeared in school in between crowds. The amount of people at family gatherings who told Chanhee that he was so pretty compared to me was offending.

The only fun fact about myself was that I liked to listen to American R&B.

"Doah, get your backpack we're going." Chanhee dragged Changmin out of my room. Changmin looked back at me with an apologetic shrug before earning a smack on the back of the head from my brother.

I laughed to myself and slung my backpack over my shoulder. It was mornings like this that made me not dread school.

The three of us headed out the door and I grabbed a piece of bread on my way out. The short dark blue car honked, and we all stopped for a second to remember what day of the week it was.

"Thursday. Do's, it's your turn" Chanhee said first.

I opened the front seat and Juyeon greeted me politely. The other two boys took their places in the back and Juyeon started towards school.

Although we fought for shot gun whenever we drove anywhere, my favorite days of the week were when Chanhee sat in the front, because Changmin and I were in the back.

Per our usual routine, Juyeon parked in the school's lot, we all got out and headed onto campus. They met their other friend Kevin by the water fountains, and then we parted ways. That was the worst part, seeing Changmin go into the third year hallway out of the corner of my eye. It was a constant reminder that the highlights of my days were based on a fantasy that would never work.

As I rounded the corner I smacked into someone's shoulder. "Sorry," I said.

"Hey." The girl stopped walking and faced me.

When I looked up I stood up straighter, and I put a more polite look on my face.

"You finished the lab paper for chemistry right?" She said.

Shit.

I did, in fact, finish four lab papers for Eunjung and her friends, all with different wording. But I was so distracted this morning that I left them on the desk. Damn you Changmin.

"I have them." I said simply.

"Give it here then," She answered.

"They're at home,"

"They're due today, I told you that. I gave you a whole week to do this are you fucking kidding me?" She asked. She never yelled, because she didn't want to be caught. Neither did I, to be honest. That would be so embarrassing.

"Look just tell your teacher you left them and you'll get it to her tomorrow," I answered.

"Wow. You're not even sorry?"

"Why should I be sorry? For you not doing your own assignment?" I asked.

"Piss off. This better not happen again." She glared in my direction.

I turned around and tightened the straps of my backpack before walking towards my classroom. She didn't scare me, none of the people in her group did. And I wasn't being bullied either. It was simply blackmail. Eunjung once caught our book club doing our monthly midnight meeting in the school library when school is supposed to be closed. Since then she and her friends had been telling me to do their homework whenever they don't want to do it themselves, or else they'd mess with the people in my club who couldn't stand up for themselves.

I didn't really mind, actually. The people in that club were the only friends I had, and besides I didn't have hobbies, so I had the time.

I wouldn't dare tell my brother about it, he'd go ballistic. But besides he's too busy to notice me doing the extra work anyways, so it works out.

It's not that I'm a particularly optimistic person, or that I'd like to see the bright side of this situation. It's that I just don't really care that much to do anything about it. It's the only thrill I get, even if it's bad.

And maybe that's sadistic, but it couldn't be worse than the 'romance' in my life. I could never admit to myself that I liked my brother's best friend. That would mean acknowledging how he would never like me back.

++