We were always meant to be

Nothing is better than to be with someone you love so much. I love her? Maybe a bit too soon. Just don't say it out loud for now.

"Are we dating?" I asked.

"We are girlfriends. Yes." I leaned in and kissed her, she responded right away.

"We would have to tell my parents someday."

"Aren't you guys having a BBQ next weekend and had invited me to be there too?"

"You are correct and I think it will be an amazing day to tell them."

"Will they accept us?"

"Why wouldn't they?"

"Maybe you are right. I hope so."

"They don't care. As long as I am happy and in a good, healthy relationship, they will be fine with who ever I date."

This calmed me down a bit. Maybe not so much a su was hoping, just knowing my parents, hers are more opposite of my own. Next weekend it is then. I have plenty of time. I will be just happy knowing one of our parents are fully accepting, which is very likely. Was I ever jealous of Iris having such parents? Yes, I have. But at the same time I don't hate my parents, I do understand them and I know I am sad they do not accept who I am, more or so dating a person they somehow had big expectations towards. They would feel like they trusted her and she "made" me become lesbian and then find out we are dating. Her parents would be in trouble. Just hoping my parents would not go all the way. Like they would find out. Not like we would make sure they do. Unless an accident.

My first real crush, my first kiss, my first girlfriend, its still feel unreal to be calling each other girlfriends and my best friend for many years. This feels too good. Why when ever my life starts to get better something bad has to happen? Something bad will happen, just don't know how or when. Right now I should not be thinking about the future, I should be in the moment. Iris knows me and to distract me from my own thoughts started to kiss me.

"We are in public, Iris!"

"You need to keep yourself out of your mind sometimes. I know you are thinking something andwill happen. Am I right?"

"Yeah. But like what if?"

"What if? We will get through it together." And continued to kiss me and I did respond too.

I felt too embarrassed and had to stop the kiss. I was for sure red, maybe just pink. My girlfriend looked like nothing we did was embarrassing, I mean in private we could kiss how much we want but in public and especially as two girls, I am not risking it. I wish I could just do things without over thinking it. Iris is able to do that or so it always seemed to me to be like that.

"How are you always able to do things without much thought?"

"I guess it all goes to my parents and how they raised me. They always taught me to be adventures and not to be too afraid to take risks."

"Good for you."

"I think with time many could get their minds to be the same. Even you."

"How so?"

"Sometimes just say it to yourself that everything you do even if it isn't the best would be very fun memories to remember once you are old." I wish I could think like that but I guess it is how my parents had raised me. Not that I am blaming them too much. I've always tried to be the good daughter but the more older I grew, the more different I became from their picture of a perfect daughter. I do still have good grades, don't get into fights, try my best to not show the imperfections of my own, even if they notice sometimes. I lie quite a lot now. Just the excuse to be at my best friends house but in reality be somewhere else I really shouldn't be or just not what they would want, like dating and going on a date with my now girlfriend, a girl. I am taking a risk and I am willing to take it, no matter what the consequences would be if they find out. I am not alone, I have Iris with me, maybe even her family next week as well.