A Question Of Love

"You know about that?" Mandy almost whispered, shaking inwardly. How badly was this about to go?

"Yes. All about it." Jamie sounded calm, collected, content. Her face reflected that calm. "I've known for weeks ."

"How?"

"His mum." She shrugged. "I asked her, and she told me.  I knew there was something eating away at him. I could hear him crying sometimes when he thought I wasn't there."

"Oh Jamie, you poor thing."  Mandy clutched her arm, "and poor Tom. Why didn't you tell him you knew?"

Jamie looked guilty now, very guilty. " Because for a while, I wanted him to suffer as I had. I wanted him to feel my pain, my sorrow.  But that passed very quickly, I'm no sadist. It got to a point where I just wanted him to get closure by telling me himself.  If I took that away from him, if I took on the burden, he would always feel guilty. Always feel he never really got the chance to clear his conscience on his terms."

Now she teared up a little, the emotional release adding to the tension.

"You did it with the best of intentions. You have nothing to feel guilty about.  Just remember to tell him what you told me. Make him realise you still - and always will - love him." Mandy stood up, and they hugged. "Now, I'm going. You, my dear girl, need to make yourself even more beautiful for your man. And I need to go and see if I can lose twenty pounds to fit into that damn dress." She winked and laughed. "Not that anyone will be looking at me anyway. No matter what I do or wear, you'll be the belle of the ball."

"No way. Not a chance. When people see you with Luke, see your smile, your glow, they'll see true beauty." Jamie shed a few tears, this time of joy. "I want you to be as happy as I am, as I will be. "

"Aww, thanks, lovely. Now, before we expire in a pile of mutual admiration, I'm off. See you tomorrow for flowers, ok?"

They hugged again, and Mandy left, Jamie standing waving to her from the window.

On the dot of 8pm, there was the sound of a key in the lock, and Jamie looked up from her magazine.  Tom.

A moment or two later, the living room door opened, and a massive bunch of flowers stood there.  Her favourite yellow roses.

"Delivery for Miss Jamie..." the disembodied voice said from behind it. 

She smirked.  "Please just put them in the kitchen. I'm expecting a handsome visitor any second, so I have to remain here." She tried -and failed - to keep the giggle out of her voice.

"Are you indeed?" The bunch of flowers moved, and the most handsome face Jamie knew replaced it in her line of vision. "More handsome than me? I find that very hard to believe!"

Jamie stood and crossed over to the door.  Taking the flowers, she laid them carefully on the unit next to her. Then she slipped her arms around the neck of the handsome delivery man.

"That's what I love about you delivery men. Your innate modesty!" She kissed his right cheek. "Your impeccable taste in flowers." She kissed his left cheek. "And your absolutely shameless sex appeal." She kissed him full on the lips, pulling him to her. "Now, since my other handsome man is nowhere to be seen, how'd you like to earn yourself a little tip?" She winked and bit her bottom lip.

"Oooooh," came the response. "I like this.  So clandestine, so secret. So exciting."

For a moment, they kissed passionately, and Jamie started to undo his shirt buttons.  It was at that point that Tom stopped the pretence in its tracks. 

Peeling her hands from him, he kissed her forehead softly.  "Darling, there's something I need to tell you." She knew what was coming.

"Can't it wait, my love?" She kissed his neck, and he groaned. Steeling himself, he moved as she kissed him again.

"No darling.  I'm sorry.  Come and sit down. Please?" He guided her to the sofa, his stomach full of twisting writhing snakes, his mind in turmoil.  He was about to risk everything, and his legs had turned to jelly.

Jamie looked at him and smiled gently.  She wasn't going to push very hard. She knew he was scared.  Sitting on the sofa, he took her hands in his and kissed them both. His face was white, his eyes dark with fear. Taking a breath, he said,

"Darling, I have something I need to say. It is important and maybe life changing, and I'm sorry. Sorry, I had to put you through all this. Sorry for what I'm about to say, and I'm sorry I ever thought I could hide it from you."

Jamie decided it was time for her to come clean, too.

"It's ok, Tom." she reached up and stroked his cheek, her thumb gently wiping away a tear that had started to roll down his cheek. "I forgive you." She smiled.

"But you don't know what I've done.  It's something terrible."

"Did you kill someone?"

"Pardon?"

"Did you kill someone?" She repeated a little slower.

"No! Of course not!" He answered with a dazed expression.

"Well, that's ok, then. I'm assuming you haven't stolen anything, and I'm pretty sure I can rely on you not to kick puppies and kittens. Nothing else would make me think any less of you.  Nothing." She grasped his hand. "So, what did you want to confess?"

He looked down at his feet, suddenly overwhelmed. "I... betrayed you..." he whispered."When I went to Mum's that first weekend? I met my ex-girlfriend and..." he trailed off, looking like he might pass out any second.

"You got drunk, kissed her, and slept with her." She finished the sentence softly as his mouth fell open in utter disbelief. All he could do was nod.

"Yes," his voice was barely audible. "Please, Jamie, please..." she put a finger to his lips.

"Shhhhhh."

She took the finger away and smiled.  Then she leaned in and kissed him. Softly but deliberately passionately. Full of desire, full of love, and most importantly for Tom, full of forgiveness.

"It's ok, darling. I know. And I dont care anymore.  I did.  For a few minutes, I did. Then I realised that you're human. You make mistakes just like me. You feel things just like me, and you truly want us to be together, just like me."

Tom looked at her, his heart fit to burst. Was it possible he could love her more than he did right at that moment? He doubted it. 

"I don't deserve you. I really don't."

"I know" she grinned "but wont it be fun trying to?" She winked and resumed unbuttoning his shirt. "Now that's out the way, I think we had a little something on the go did we not?" Her mouth found his neck, nipping and sucking at him.  Eyes rolling into his head, he groaned, his head tipping back.

"Oh fuck Jamie..." was all he managed to say.

"I fully intend to" was her growled response.

As he fell into oblivion, he knew there was just one thing left to do. One thing left to say.