NeoNara || TXT || taebin || yeonkai

2017, DAY ONE
Friday, August 18, 2017 8:51 PM

River Bennington is not okay.

He's aware of the definition of brain fog, and he's certain this is what he has now. He should be excited, be present. This is NeoNara, after all. For many, it's the most wonderful time of the year. And River has tried his best to psych himself up ever since the band landed in New York. This is a homecoming for him, a place with so many memories, where he will see so many friends.

No matter how hard he tries, he can't get out of the funk he's in.

And he hates himself for it.

Someone knocks on the door and then pokes their head into River's green room. "Five minutes to standby."

River nods, leaning against the nearby table, taking a deep breath. This is it. He's going to have to fake as much enthusiasm as he can —

"You are ready, aren't you?"

River turns and looks. The man who called out standby is still standing in the doorway. River's never seen him before in his life. "I'm as ready as I'm ever going to be."

"Do you need more time?"

"I can't take more time, I —" River doesn't know why he's talking to this man. "Look, I've got to go out there and play this set, and it has to be perfect. Don't ask me why, though I'm sure you know why. It wasn't supposed to be like this. You know that. I know that. Everybody knows that."

The man nods, but doesn't tear his eyes off of River. "We all know that. Despite that, we carry on."

"It's — it's better than the alternative, I suppose." River sighs, then shakes his head. "All right. Gotta get out there and suffer through it."

The man leans up against the door. "Since when was performing suffering?"

"This time around, I'm going to suffer." River could see no way around it.

"It doesn't have to be. There are things missing, but it was decided the show must go on. So here you are, and instead of forcing your suffering on stage, you can embrace it, have a little fun if you must."

"I can't have fun."

"You don't owe the dead your stoicism. I should know. What would he want if he were here?" Somehow, River can't get in a word edgewise to answer. "He'd be out there, rocking and having fun with you all. Just...do your best to pretend he's still here. That's the best way you can honor him, I think. And it really does beat the alternative."

River's phone buzzes; he glances down at it, swiping away the notification from Ivy. He then looks up, but the man is gone. How odd.

"Baby?"

River knows that voice; he looks up to see Ivy in front of him. "You're in your head. We're wanted on stage."

"I know."

Ivy understands River's hesitance to stand on stage fully. She remembers the long nights where River was up late, on the phone with Chester himself, talking about concert plans and remixes and a future that would never come to light. This should have been a joint show between Linkin Park and River Bennington, and now it's simply River, standing on stage as a tribute to his mentor.

But not alone.

She glances across the green room, where Mike Shinoda is standing. He is decked out as he normally would be when on stage: a plain white t-shirt and a baseball cap with Linkin Park's logo on it. All three can hear the synth intro begin on stage; Janet is doing her job, setting the stage for the show that is about to begin. The crowd begins to cheer, and River notices how loud it is, how many people are probably out there at this very moment.