The Model And The Don

Chapter 43

"You can't help!" He shouts, jerking my hand  away from his face. I flinch back in shock as my eyes involuntarily fill with tears.

"You can't help because nearly half of my people are dead and they're dead because of me! I can't go back in time and prevent this! I have to live with it! It's my fault!" He continues to shout, standing up while doing so.

"It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known-"

"I should've known! I'm their fucking Don! I should've known we would've gotten some backlash but I ignored it because I was too fucking busy chasing after you!" He shouts, moving to be in my face as he points at me.

"I know you're hurt, Jaxon, but you can't blame this on me." I tell him sternly as a few tears escapes from my eyes.

"I'll do whatever the fuck I want because that's what I do, isn't it?" He takes a step forward, making me take one back.

"I was supposed to make a decision! I was supposed to ensure their safety! I was supposed to take care of them and I didn't! It's my fucking fault!" He takes another step forward.

"Jaxon, I-"

"I don't want to hear your bullshit! So, please, leave!" He shouts.

"Please, I-"

"Leave!"

I gulp before walking out of the room, wiping my face. He's doing it again, he's breaking us into two parts and I can't even get mad at him for it.
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Logan walks into the living room, holding the plate I made him for breakfast. I made one for Jaxon as well for when he wakes up.

"How are you feeling?" I ask, my voice is hoarse from the amount of sobbing I did last night but I don't let it stop me.

He shrugs, taking a bite of the bacon and sits beside me. He wraps his free arm around me, tucking me into his side.

"I feel better this morning, how is Jaxon handling it?" He asks, his own voice cracking and hoarse.

"He's uh- he's pretty upset over it." I tell him, tucking my feet underneath me so that my knees are on my chest.

"I can't imagine what he must feel like." Logan sighs, shaking his head.

"Yeah." I mumble.

We stay silent as Logan finishes his breakfast then he goes off to get some progress in the amount of work he's going to be doing.

I want to bring Jaxon's breakfast up to him to make sure he's eating but he's upset and he needs time and I'll give him as much time as he needs.
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I pace around my room, trying to talk myself up enough to go check on Jaxon and I hate to say this but I'm scared. I'm scared he will say something so far, there is no point in returning.

He's upset and he has every right to be but his words hurt last night and I didn't get a blink of sleep from it. I'm sure Jaxon didn't sleep well either.

He's probably stressing over it and letting his anger get the best of him when He should stay focused on what's important but that's Jaxon and people shouldn't have any expectations after something like this happens.

I hear the rasping of a couple knocks but then it goes silent and I start to think I'm imagining things.

Damn, I know I didn't get much sleep last night but I can't already be hallucinating.

"Karlie." Jaxon's voice goes through the door and I freeze. What is he doing? Is he going to yell at me some more? Is he telling me to pack my bags and never step foot on this property again? Is he coming to apologize.

The door opens before Jaxon slowly enters my room, keeping his head angled towards the ground.

'Karlie, you need to leave.'

That's what I imagine, those words coming out of his mouth but instead he falls to his knees in front of me, pressing his face into my stomach as his shoulders move with every deep breath he takes.

I never thought of the day where I'd see Jaxon crying, much less him crying on his knees in front of me with his arms wrapped around the back of my thighs and his face pressed into my stomach.

I'm shocked and lost of words as Jaxon lifts his head, pressing his chin into my stomach as he looks up at me.

"I'm so fucking sorry. None of this is your fault and I should've never blamed it on you. I love you so much, Karlie." He says as his chin trembles and his beautiful brown eyes line with red.

I still don't talk, I'm still in shock.

"I love you and I'll make it up to you, as long at it takes. Forgive me. Please. I need you to forgive me. I can't live without you. I'm lost. I have no sense of direction when I'm not with you. You have no idea how much I love you. I think I loved you from the moment I saw you. I'll love you until I can't and then I'll love you some more. " He rambles, his eyes searching my face.

"A love like this, a love like us lasts forever." He tells me as his eyes still bounce around my face.

"Jaxon, get up." I whisper as I come out of my shock and tears leak out of my eyes.

"No. No, baby. I can't, not until you've forgiven  me. I will stay on my knees as long as I need too because I've never loved anything in this world besides you and I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to act or speak or move. I need you to tell me. You are my future and my present. You are my favorite person, place, and thing in this miserable world."

I watch as a single tear escapes his eye and runs down his face, leaving a wet trail behind.

"I love you, Karlie."