Finding The Right Way

JAMES ALVAREZ

Athena was gone, disappeared into thin air. It had been four weeks and seventeen days since I had seen my best friend, four weeks and seventeen days since I last heard of her. Not a single text or call...only a farewell letter. It has been four weeks and seventeen days since I have been living on the edge, struggling for survival. I had lost the only soul which was holding me down to earth, I was now only floating in gravity, hoping for someone to drag me down again.

Even though Athena and I didn't talk much for the past few months, it was always nice to see her or hear her voice. Now...it was as if there was a void in my life. My relationship with Bree has been strained a little since her departure. It was my fault. Bree had tried everything to make me feel better but I was the one reluctant to even want to feel joyful again. I was just irritated..one of our friends was gone and no one seemed to care. It was as if nothing had changed on the campus. As if Athena had never existed. No one asked about her or even looked for her. Even my friends acted normally. At first I thought that they didn't know about it...but they did and nothing changed in their attitude or their lifestyle.

I started doubting...did Athena really exist or was she just a figment of my imagination? It was only when Bree mentioned her in a conversation that I came back to reality.

-I think you should go see Athena. Announced Bree.

-What? I said sleepily as I shook my head to get my thoughts straight. We were in the library...at the same table Athena and I first met. Only this time...it was Bree sitting in front of me. For the first time...Bree was not the girl I wanted to be with right now.

-You're miserable without her. You should go see her to at least get some closure. She was your best friend...I can understand how broken you are. She said sympathetically, holding my hand in hers.

Wow...I had really hit the jackpot, didn't I? That girl in front of me was ready to move the sky and earth to make me feel alive again. Bree was definitely incredible but...there was something missing. Something I didn't see before. There was no spark between us anymore and yet...I still loved her and couldn't bring myself to break her heart. Bree was unbelievable, but recently I realised that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with her. Yes, I loved spending time with her and I always wanted to be around her but honestly, I was seeing no future for us. Now that I thought about it...I never thought of having a future with her during the entire time we dated!

I was in love with Athena! Yes! As crazy as it seems...I was. I was such an idiot for not seeing it sooner. Such a fool...when Bree went away for a seminar, for a week, I was still myself...a week after Athena's departure, I was moping in my bed, depressed, overthinking everything...I missed her. Swallowing hard, I started talking slowly, in a trembling voice,

-Bree...I...I think we should break up.

-Wh-what? Her hands slid away from mine as quickly as it came. Her eyes filled up with tears, I mentally slapped myself, why was she so pretty when she cried?! All I wanted to do was to hug her and make it as if I was joking all along. However, I wasn't kidding...Bree and I had to break up. I hoped that we could stay friends but my friendship with her seemed to have been tainted the second we started dating. I was apologising, comforting her, telling her that everything would be fine. I felt awful hurting her like this. My past self would have punched me if he knew that I was giving up such a perfect and wonderful person. A few months ago, I had promised myself to never hurt her in any ways...but here I was breaking that promise and ripping her heart in half.

Eventually, Bree calmed down. She didn't talk, she just got up and walked away. Away from me, away from everyone. I knew she would run to Mackenzie or Blake to cry but I also knew that they would take care of her. Bree was going to be fine and this thought warmed my heart a little. It was the right thing to do. Without wasting another second, I booked a flight to Minnesota. Athena...I'm coming for you.

On the plane, I had endless time to think. I was nervous. How would she react? Would she be happy to see me? Did I make the right choice? What if she already has a boyfriend? Was she happy? Did I have a chance to convince her to come back to Stanford? So many questions that drove me crazy. My heart thumping against my chest, my ribs tightening...everything was going to be fine, right?

I was a bit lost when arriving in Minnesota. The dark moonless night didn't help me but eventually I managed to come around and the best part was that, while wandering in the campus, I found Athena's room. I sat down, trying not to start overthinking while waiting for her to come...and when she did, my heart skipped a beat, pounding against my chest like a madman. She hadn't seen me yet, a small smile was on her face, she looked exhausted but happy. I felt guilty...maybe I shouldn't have come, all I wanted to do was run. What if she didn't want to see me? What if she rejected me? What if...what if...I was crazy? Surprised, I saw myself opening my mouth, and calling out her name,

-Athena?

She looked up, frozen. Her eyes opening wider as the seconds,which seemed like hours, passed. Then...she smiled. Her irresistible smile, I knew so well, just washed all my fears away in an instant.

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