On the flip side~ Strictly Professional Sequel~ Onceler x Reader

TW ATTEMPTED SUICIDE

The next couple years were pure torture. Nothing felt real. None of it. You felt like you were on autopilot, floating through existence.

If you had it your way, you would've been gone long ago. Oliver wouldn't allow it though. No one would. 'You had too much to live for'.

You watched as Pippa grew, you watched as your business succeeded. You just watched.

Yes, you of course still functioned. You went to work, you dropped Pippa off at school, you went to contract signings. You did all of it. Your mind was elsewhere though.

Onceler. You hadn't seen him in 2 years. almost 3. It was pure torture. All you got was updates from Oliver when he went to see him, but his updates became less of what you wanted to hear. Onceler had nothing good to say about you, even when Oliver explained the situation.

Pippa had persevered through it, though. Always looking through those photo albums. You felt so guilty, she never really met her father. And now you were fading away. She was so strong.

That's why you decided to do what you did, or try at least. It was all too much. Plus, you weren't in a great mindset at all. The meds they gave you made it worse. You weren't thinking clearly.

It was the evening before Pippas 7th birthday. You were exhausted after planning the birthday. The darkness of the room swallowed you whole.

You reached for the pill bottle, making your decision. A tear miandered down your face, depression filling you up entirely.

You poured the pills out into your hand, staring at them. This was your choice. Your last attempt at control. You would see Onceler in another life.

"Mummy? I'm hungry can you make me something to eat?" You gasped as you made out Pippas shadow in the doorway. You were so close.

"Why are you in the dark mummy?"

"I will make you something to eat" You mustered up a voice. Under no circumstance could you let her know what she had just walked into.

"Okay mummy!" She ran off and out of the room.

You looked back down at your hand, the pills weren't there. Were you tripping or something? You checked the bottle, they weren't in there either. They just, disappeared. The fuck?

You were so close. Inches away from eternal peace. You thought of Pippa, and how upset she would be if you were no longer there for her. She was your reason to live. You would have to suppress the pain for her. She was more important than you and your emotions.

You got up, grabbing your walking stick and moving towards the doorway. You looked back at the bedroom, a cold reminder of what you were just about to do. Pippa saved your life, without even knowing.

You owed you life to her, literally. So, you decided to get your life together, for her. That started by cooking her dinner, pancakes.

"What's wrong?" She asked you as you cried over the pancakes.

"They remind me of your dad"

"He's not dead mom!" She said. You laughed through the tears at her humour.

"I know. I just haven't seen him in a long time. How is he?" Pippa had gone to see Onceler last time Oliver visited.

"He's grumpy"

"Oh" You sniffled, mentally telling yourself to get it together.

"Are you excited for your birthday tomorrow?"

"Will the Lorax be there?"

"Yes honey. He wouldn't miss it for anything"

"Then I am excited!" She said happily as she ate her pancakes.

You yawned, exhausted mentally and physically. You wanted to sleep, but you couldn't face going back into your bedroom. The couch would do, you figured.

"Early night tonight Pip. You've got a big day tomorrow." Now came the temper tantrum.

"That's not fair!! I'm the birthday girl!" She stomped her foot in protest.

"Do not give me that attitude missy. Or I won't let the Lorax come to the party." You warned. She huffed and stormed into her room, you rolled your eyes.

You were by yourself again, depression creeping back. You pushed the thoughts down, tears threatening to fall. You switched the TV on, putting on your favourite show to try and relax. Soon enough, you were asleep, the soft light of the television lulling you to sleep.