Northbound Pilgrimage - Third Book Extras

Aeyrin didn't see Azshan in the clerics' chambers.

She didn't hear him come in all night and she was pretty sure she barely managed to doze off at all.

It was the worst night she had in the temple in a long time. She did come back late, but she didn't expect to be that beat down in the morning. But most of all, she was so anxious about what would follow. Azshan was leaving today. They had only several hours left together and this was definitely not how she wanted to leave things off. An uncomfortable feeling was clenching in her stomach the whole time as she dressed herself and determined herself to go have breakfast. He would probably be there. And so would a lot of other people. She couldn't talk to him there, but maybe he would be willing to disappear with her into the undercroft and discuss things.

She didn't even know what she would say. She still had no idea how she felt. But losing him was not an option.

She just had to do something.

She got to the mess hall relatively early after the morning bell, but so many people were already there. Including Azshan. He was sitting at the end of one of the benches by the large table, right next to Lyera. She was their fellow cleric who was leaving today as well – to join the same Order as Azshan. Aeyrin and Azshan had never talked to her too much. She was already a cleric when she joined the chapel only a year ago, transferred from Anvil, apparently. But Azshan did talk to her a bit more lately when they found out they were planning on doing the same training in the same place.

Right. Nothing strange about that. So Azshan wasn't in the quarters and didn't wait for Aeyrin to wake up so that they could have breakfast together. It was understandable after last night. It was also understandable that he was talking to Lyera. And sitting so close to her. Whispering and chuckling about something together. Completely understandable...

It was... fine. It was not as if she couldn't just talk to him in front of other people.

She let out a determined huff and she walked over to him. He didn't even acknowledge her though he must have seen her. He was still whispering something to Lyera that kept making her chuckle. Was he going to ignore her now?

"Uhm... Azshan?" Aeyrin bit her lip nervously as she addressed him. At this point she was standing right next to him. And only now he looked up at her. So did Lyera, but she seemed to lose interest in the interaction practically instantly.

"Morning," Azshan nodded at her. He looked... normal. There was no bite in his tone, no scowl on his face. That was good.

"Morning," she mumbled in return. "Do you think we could... talk somewhere?" At least he addressed her. That was good. He wasn't ignoring her. They could figure things out, right? They had to.

"Ah, sorry, honey, I've got a lot to do before we leave. It's a busy day," he shrugged noncommittally.

Oh.

She didn't expect that answer. She wasn't sure why, but once he actually spoke to her, this possibility did not even occur to her.

And it was a lie! He had hours before he needed to leave. He was all packed and ready – it was not as if he had a lot of things to take with him anyway. Nobody here had many personal things. What could he possibly have to do for hours?!

Before she could reel from the surprise and say anything else, he interrupted her.

"See you later," he smiled a bit but he promptly turned back to Lyera.

He just... brushed her off. Suddenly she had no idea what she should do with herself. He was ignoring her entirely now, though she was not saying anything anyway. She was just... stumped. And she had no idea how to act. The feeling in her gut got worse and she couldn't stand it.