I think I'm lost without you [Paul Lahote]

Noah woke the next morning to a text from an unknown number. She had slept well despite the chaotic day at school and was pleasantly surprised to find that her dad had not bothered her. A business trip, her memory supplied.

Good morning. I hope you don't mind that I got your number. - Paul

Noah smiled despite herself. Gosh she had really fooled herself into thinking she was over her little crush. She wasn't sure why now all of a sudden Paul was giving her attention, and it made her wary, but Noah had no control over the little flutter of her heart.

Despite their tense interaction yesterday morning, Paul had been different when he gave her a ride home. Noah didn't know many guys her age that would apologize so sincerely, especially considering how stubborn she was pretty sure that Paul was. A trait they shared then. But he had been sweet in a way that was reminiscent of the Paul she thought she knew before the whole brooding-cult thing.

The dark corner in the back of her mind whispered that he would only end up hurting her like everyone else, that this wasn't real. Noah ignored that for the moment. No need to get ahead of herself. She started typing out a message, deleting and rewriting a few times.

Hi. Thank you again for driving me home. -Noah

Paul responded almost immediately.

Anytime.

He had said the same thing yesterday. Noah wondered if he had been in person whether his tone would be as serious and sincere as it was the last time. Even over text, she somehow knew he meant it.

Are you doing anything today? -Paul

Noah's breath hitched in her throat. Technically, she didn't have any hard plans for today, except maybe going up to the cliffs, but she didn't know if she could handle another interaction with the man so soon. Their last one had been good, admittedly, but that was kinda the problem. This kind of positive attention had become wholly unfamiliar to Noah recently and she wasn't sure what she would do if Paul was super sweet to her again. If he listened and spoke with intent, like he was fully invested in what she had to say. Especially, if he set those chocolate eyes on her in the way that set her soul alight.

Noah sighed. This was messing everything up. She couldn't have anything holding her back from finally leaving this place, she was so close. For the first time in a while, Noah wanted something other than freedom and that scared her. Cutting all ties would be best.

I have to run a bunch of errands for my dad today :/ why? -Noah

We're hanging down at the beach later. You should come! Only if you want to of course! -Paul

Oh maybe if I get everything done... - Noah

No pressure Noah. -Paul

Noah left it at that. She felt bad for blowing him off or I guess intending to blow him off, but she just couldn't do it. Plus it sounded like the rest of the rat pack would be there too and she had no interest in speaking to any of them any time soon. Especially not Jacob. Well, she wouldn't mind hanging out with Kim again but that was besides the point.

With that decided, Noah got dressed for the day. Maybe she would run a few errands before heading to the cliffs. That way she would feel better about not being a complete liar. Noah threw on some jeans and an old black sweater that used to be her moms. She remembered the last time she wore it with a wince. Richard had not appreciated the sight of her looking like a spitting image of Jane. But he was out of town and it made her feel warmth and sometimes she thought she could still smell her moms perfume lingering in the threads. The last thing she threw on was a hat. Hopefully it would help obscure the bruises at least a little.