The light in my darkness ?

Caroline's point of view

I stare at him in shock. My lower jaw hang on the floor and my heart seems to slow down in my chest.

I can't breathe

I'm going to die

I clawed at my throat and I watch him when he stoop down in front of me,but I lost my voice.

God, I knew I wanted to die but please not like this

"Caroline ! Look at me!"

"Hey, I got you, breathe,watch me, in and out," he  held my face in his hands.

I followed his process but it's so hard. Why is this so hard? Everyone can breathe and I can't. I started to stand up but he pulled me to him on the floor. He craddle menin his lap. Our eyes connect as I hyperventilate.

"Fuck, holy fuck."

"I need you to breathe for me."

"I can't-b-"

First I had to lost my mother, then I had to grew up in hell, I lost my strength so many times, then I killed somebody. I kept so many things inside,why did my mom turned into something she is not? My dad lied to me, am basically living because of my sister. Why? Why do I have to go through so much? What is my purpose of living? I've suffered so much.

I cried as I gasp for breath. Water leaked from nose without a care in the world.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. İt's going to be okay. I got you."

No one ever got me before

İt's like a barrel of water as been attached to a pipe in my eyes. I hiccuped and cried like a broken record.

"None of it's your fault."

Talat's point of view

It wasn't supposed to be like this. She is a stranger.
I'm not supposed to feel like this. I'm not use to this. I'm not sure of being soft to women... İt took a while for me to be soft to women in my life, can you blame me? My mother didn't give shit about me to begin with, but she, she warms my heart.

I watch her go through it and I knew that if she could control her panic attacks, she would. She will curse herself later for being so vunderable. She probably  hurl something at me. Maybe shout at me. İt's so hard for her to trust me but I want her to. I want her to see that even though am fucked up and I keep secrets; am different. I got her .

What the fuck is my life?

Her breathing slowed and I wiped her tears, who the fuck is me right now?
I don't know what came over me but I did it. Around her grey eyes are red, her cheeks are flushed. She sighed

"I'm okay," there she is, the strong version.

"Don't -"

She interrupt me by attempting to get up but I pulled her back, her back to my chest.

"Allow me. Just for tonight," I whispered in her ear. The scent of her hair shampoo entered my nostrils and I resist the urge to burry my nose in it.

I heard her sigh and I held her to me. It felt weird for a moment;knowing that am not that much of a knight in shining armor, but then I relax. She is allowing me to hug her this position. It burns my brain if she ever had a boyfriend before.

"İt's hurting because - because I forgive him already. I have to, Matilda and him is the only firm family foundation I have. I don't know my brother and I don't think I ever will, plus am tired of meeting people. I find myself not liking people recently."

"But you like me," I smirked as I say it. She turned around a bit and looked at me.

God, she have such beautiful eyes, hers being the first I've seen up close. The structures of her face is incredible. Her cheeks redden and I've never seen someone so attractive. So attractive but I can't tell her that.

My throat tighten at our close proximity. İt's taking everything in me not to kiss her. No. I won't. it's too early.

İf she presses a little more slowly, more closely, she will feel the length growing in my pants. İt's starting to become uncomfortable. My nostrils flare and I open my mouth to breathe.

İt's because I haven't had sex in a while

İt's been too long

"No, I haven't eaten yet, you asked earlier," Her soft voice enter my ears and I try not to groan. I'm not going to kiss her. No.

Her open palm rest on my thigh and I looked down at her hand. Slow fucking close. Her hand looks so good next to the dark blue.

Fuck

I glance up slowly, anticipation seeps through me.

She is looking

Her eyes met mine and I closed it for a couple seconds. I open them to see her eyes glued at my groin. A bulge.

"Let's get you something to eat. Can't have you going to bed hungry."
My vote voice came out low and husky.

"Mhmm."

"Mhmm? "

She looked up at me, her eyes boring into mines. Her mouth slightly open and I did a funny thing. I used my fingers and pinched them shut.

"I won't be kissing you. Tşk. "

I grin at her and get up and fix myself , she watched me the whole time.
Her windpipe bobs up and down.

I don't know what came over me but I pulled my belt and standing over her . I fix my self with a smirk on my lips. Her lips fall open again and I laugh.
This İs going to be a long journey.

"Get up sweetheart."

She didn't even look at me anymore. She got up by herself, declining my out stretch hand.

I followed her out and closed the office door.

She head into her bedroom and I waited outside for a while. I know the door is  still open, because I didn't hear a click, but there is no way am going to walk inside with my body almost on fire.

I'm not going to chance it seeing her In a towel, not right now. I tried so hard not to think about her soft skin. That soft skin. The way I had griped her bom caused my pants to  strained for freedom.

"I'll be waiting on you down the hall. Grandma had Cook, I'll share something for you. I'm giving you ten minutes Caroline."

I head down the stairs with a struggle.

Volkan back was turned, as he sat on on of the sofas,  munching on something. A meat loaf.
I leap over next to him and grab it from his hands, taking a huge bite from it.

His eyebrows raised and his hands paused. He had a ridiculous expression. He resume his chewing and grabbed at the loaf.

"What the hell is happening to you?"

He is on the verge of laughing I can see it in his eyes.

"I'm fucked."

"You are what?"

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Lol

Thanks for reading guys. İt's been a while since I wrote. I have something else taking up my time; another book.😉

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