ddlc: 'i can kiss you if you need it' || poorple

I shouldn't be sad. I know I really shouldn't, but deep down I still thought that he would like me back. It's been a week, or so since I confessed my feelings and things aren't going great. I really thought that I should be brave and speak my heart out. For the first time I felt the urge to give myself a chance to get love from someone. I wanted for someone to come to me, to hug me, or even kiss me like that. I hoped MC was going to be that person, I really did.

Though I didn't have expectation for him to suddenly come to me and to change his mind about his intentions to me, or how he saw me, but I still couldn't get the feeling of loneliness that was caused by it. Maybe he wasn't right for me? I thought to myself. I was a person to belive in destiny and that some people are made for each other. Just like me and him, best friends from childhood that seemed like they're on the great patch to end up with each other. I guess the last part was only my imagination that I surely was holding on too much. With that I didn't want to think about anybody being the right person that was gonna repace him.

Some people noticed my behavior and that was not something that I was proud of. It has evolved to the point that Monika volunteered to come to my house after she'd finish her last lesson of the day. I couldn't say no and she really didn't let me choose it. She was stuborn today and I knew I had to cooperate. Luckily I finished my school day ealier so I could return home first and get ready for her to come. I still wanted to play along with my normal self 'cause I didn't feel like talking about it for now.

I changed into my casual clothes, as I usually do. I ate someting real quick and depated on getting some tea ready for us to drink through our afternoon together. It took me longer than I could imagine 'cause suddenly I heard a doorbell and knew it had to be her.

-Hi Monika! - I said enthusiastically like same old me when someone was coming over.

-Hey Sayori! Are you feeling ok? - She asked right away which made me sure that she wasn't gonna let it go outside of school.

-I said I'm fine silly... - I kind of rolled my eyes to convince her that I'm serious about this. - I made tea. - I said quickly so she didn't have to start a conversation about me being blue.

-That's nice of you. Thank you. - She then took of her boots and she followed me to the kichen as I smiled at her. We quickly took our drinks upstairs. Even thought she was here 'cause of her worries for me, I still wanted to make it look like a normal chang out and enjoy it as much as I could.

-You still have those extra festival posters we got? You could throw them away, it's not like we're gonna use it in the future. - Monika said.

-Those leave me good memories to be honest. - I slowly answered. - We were working so hard. You were working so hard on it, so I can't get myself to just throw away someting that we put heart in. - I saw Monika smiling and seeing that I ready meant it. It was nice to make someone smile after a couple hard days of keeping a brave face when it was the toughtest thing to do.

Then we sat on the floor like we always used to when Monika was at mine. It seems like it was a comfortable position for both of us to talk, or talk a movie. I holded her cup as she placed herself down, so her drink wouldn't get any of us hurt.

-So... Did something happen? - She asked right away when we got into comfortable place. I didn't know how long I could just pass it by, without being suspisious enough and proving her point.

-Come on Monika... You know me... I'm fine, I really am. Maybe I've been a little quiter, that's all. - I suggested her as she knew that sometimes some weeks were harder than the others.

-Well, I mean, usually when you get quiet you tell something about it, and you simply explain it at the start so I can feel less stresed. You know I care about you. - I kind of started playing with my hands as she spoke to me. I didn't control it like I used to. - But now... you said nothing, and it keeps going on and it effects you. I can see it and you can't hide that from me. - I looked away. She read me so well once we got best friends. It wasn't nessecerily bad but it still got me feeling guilty. But as we got closer I got better at showing my sad side more, 'cause she respected my wish, and didn't always worry sick like it used to be. It was nicer version of asking what's wrong.