ddlc: 'i can kiss you if you need it' || poorple

i can kiss you if you need it

-It's nothing I can't bare. - I answered, still not sure what to tell her.

-Well you still can tell me what is it about, right?

-Mmm... - I murmured. It wasn't going to be easy but she got the right words for me to get the chance to open up about this. I still didn't belive myself that I was gonna admit my crush on MC. I never told anyone. I always thought that it is too small anyway, but I still ended up confessing. - I told something to one of my best friends... - I started but my throat was tight as I wanted to say more. I started getting more and more nervous.

-What did you tell them? - She tried to support me by adding her questions in between my words.

-I... He... - I felt all the emotions coming back to me. Rejecion broke my heart but also this bravery that I needed to get to even do it. Now I didn't really know what part was worse. I just wanted to be loved by someone. That was the most important thing in this. - He rejected me. - My tone was quieter than Yuri could ever get in a conversation.

-You have a crush on him? - She was suprised as I never shared anything about my romantic feelings.

-I guess... so I tried to be true about my feelings, even to him, and I just... - I shut my eyes and let my head fall down a little. - I thought if he accpeted it I would feel loved enough. I wanted someone to love me like I want to be... - Those words were one of the most truthfull I could get out. I waited pantiently for Monika to responce.

-Do you want someone to love you, or do you want him to love you? - She asked and that got me off guard. She immediately noticed that. - Sorry... it's just... sounds like that was what you mean. - She pointed out. I didn't even realize that Monika made me question my intensions in the first place. I really did say it like it was just for the sake of feeling loved, not nessecarily by MC. I still knew I had some sort of feelings for him, otherwise I would've chose someone else to date, right?

-Well... it's like... - I didn't know what to say. She surely had a point and I had no idea how to respond to that. - I wanted to feel loved like I always wanted for someone to love me. That's for sure.

-And it means? - She asked for more and as she was my best friend I had no other choice but to tell her about it.

-I always thought that kissing, for example, would be good for me. - I said confidently even thought it was a little weird to explain. - Like, I really like hugs and they really lift my spirits. - I laughed a little. - With knowing that... I don't know, I always thought that I would be happy to have someone I could kiss. But that requires being in a relationship or someone liking you. - I sighed. - So when I felt a tiny bit of a crush on... him... I felt relieved a little bit. It got complicated right now, but... - I stopped after last word. Monika seemed to be getting her thoughts together. Her facial expresion was saying she had something in mind.

-Well, you don't nessecarily have to like someone or be in a relationship to kiss someone. It can just... happen. - She mentioned.

-Of course silly, but even if. There's not a lot of people who would understand. I don't know who would've kissed someone just because they somehow need it. - I said theorising about I tought was not gonna happen.

-I would. - This sentence snapped me. I turned to face her with the wildest shock I experienced in a while. Did I hear it corectly? Was it just a joke? I didn't know full meaning behing Monika's words. Did she mean it for me, or generally?

-What...?

-I can kiss you if you need it. - She spoke. I stuttered immediately. I looked at her whole face as my eyesight was constantly changing places. I got nervous and I couldn't think straight for a moment. ...She really meant that...? I tried to analize why would she suddently say that. - It can be platonic! If you need it, then... it's a pain to me as your friend to see you in need. - She explained more. - Especially when you say it's been a problem for you. And there might be solution.